


falling too deep

by crazyxbri



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: BDSM, Choking, College Student, Daddy Kink, Degradation, Dom Aaron Hotchner, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Female Reader, Hotchner - Freeform, Jealous Aaron Hotchner, Kissing, Oral Sex, Professor Aaron Hotchner, Reader Is In College, Rough Sex, Smut, Spanking, Vaginal Fingering, criminal minds - Freeform, iceplay, sub Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:20:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 37,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27223399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyxbri/pseuds/crazyxbri
Summary: 𝘢𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘺/𝘯. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘦𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘳 ? 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘢 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader, Aaron Hotchner/You, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	1. where it all began...

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing! You can find me on wattpad as well @ crazyxshit

The night is young, with your best friends Emily and Penelope. Your on your way towards this new bar called Neon, that they found. You find it ironic, considering its a regular bar, nothing like it's name. You guys take a cab there, knowing that at the end of the night, all you will be too drunk to drive back to the dorms.

You're dressed in a skintight, spaghetti-strap black dress that accentuates all your curves in all the right places and goes well with your y/s/c skin. Its paired with black strapped heels and your y/h/c loose in its curly form. You guys decide to take a couple of shots before leaving the dorm, in order to loosen up.

After entering the bar, you guys walk straight up to the bar, ordering your usual drinks. Penelope chooses some kind of fruity drink, Emily gets a beer and you go with a vodka tonic. Once you guys get your drinks, you find a table near the dance floor. You all start drinking and talking with one another until Penelope interrupts you.

"Y/n, that guy over there is looking at you" Penelope nudges you with her shoulder catching both Emily and yours attention. "Huh" you both look over to the corner where another table is and see a man staring at you with a smirk.

You smile back and give a tiny wave to him. No doubt, he's very attractive, his raven colored hair, that suits him well and that smile, with a smile like that he has to be getting all the women. You glance at his outfit, he's in a casual black button up with a matching of pair of navy blue slacks that goes with a pair of casual black dress shoes. You giggle to myself, it's almost like you're matching.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a guy coming up to you guys, an attractive guy who has very little to none hair and by you guys, you meant Penelope. "Hi there chocolate goddess" she says to the tall stranger, winking at him and whilst they start talking or heavily flirting, you and Emily throw a look at one another mentally laughing because of Penelope and how comfortable she is with people.

You look over to where the guy you saw before and this time you see him talking to his friend you presume, but his eyes seem to be on you, and you offer a wink in return. "Y/n if you don't go over there, I swear to god, I will take that man away from you," Emily tells you with a shit-eating grin. you look over to her, debating if you should or shouldn't, with your choice in men.

"fine, fine, I will" you tell her sticking your tongue at her before finishing the rest of your drink and using the liquid to boost your courage. As you walk over to the hot stranger, his friend whispers something which makes him blush and then leaves.

"Well I hope he was talking about me, because whatever he said, just made you look quite flustered." You say with a shit-eating grin of your own towards the handsome guy who just chugged the rest of his drink.

He offers a light chuckle in return, "Aaron Hotchner, and who might you be?" telling you in a formal manner. "I'm y/n y/l/n," you tell Hotch, and all you can think to yourself is how unbelievably attractive his deep voice is. "This doesn't seem to be your type of scene" you say in a questioning way as to ask what he was doing here. He looks you up and down, in an piercing way that makes your cheeks blush just slightly. "Yeah, it's not really my type of scene but my friend Dave, wanted me to come as a way to loosen up" saying the last part while shaking his head.

"Well let's show him your not such a bore" offering him your hand and glancing towards the dance floor. Hotch takes your hand and because its so big it's able to wrap around yours. As you walk towards the dance floor, you feel his dark brown eyes staring at your interlocked hands. Your thoughts get carried away thinking about what he can do with them and how they nice they would look around-

You and get to the dance floor and you can just tell how uncomfortable Hotch is, so acting on the alcohol you place your hands around his neck and start dancing, well grinding on him, and he takes the lead which catches you by surprise. He puts his hands onto your waist moving your hips and lowers his head near your ear whispering in a low raspy voice.

"You know if I didn't know any better I would say, you're taking advantage of this opportunity, y/n." You can just hear the huge ass grin he has on his face and you smirk to yourself as well.

"What gave you that idea, sir?" You play innocent knowing damn well that you're trying to play with fire.

"You're a very beautiful girl that all" and you smirk to yourself, letting what he said build your ego a bit. He fully wraps his arms around your waist and something- more specifically his slight boner against your ass.

"You know you should really take care of that, it'll be noticeable" You chuckle, leaving Hotch's grip, hearing a chuckle from him while you proceed to walk towards the bar.

"Let me get 2 vodka shots" He lines them up and starts pouring into them when you feel someone come up beside you.

"You know it's not nice to leave someone by themselves." You hear the voice say, smiling to myself knowing exactly who it is.

"It's also not nice to sneak up on people" turning around looking into Hotch's dark brown eyes. seeing him up close, just makes him look so much more attractive.

"Take a shot with me?" You say, holding out one of them towards him, he then takes it and swallows it, shaking his head for a second as you down the other one you ordered.

"Awe can someone not handle his liquor." You say in a teasing manner while you tilt your head to the side.

"Trust me, I can handle you." his piercing dark brown eyes dilate while staring into your eyes almost as if he's staring into your soul.

You offer a slight grin, "Are you sure? I can be very unpredictable" placing your hand on his chest. He looks at you with a deep stare before grabbing your wrist and taking you to a bathroom.

Hotch locks the door and grabs you by your waist, placing you onto the counter. He kisses you passionately tasting like the alcohol we just drank. You moan in between kisses, and then he starts placing his lips starting from your mouth, going towards your jawline sucking and kissing moving down all the way to your neck. You know tomorrow morning there will be some bruises but you didn't care. You throw your head back giving him access, whilst moaning.

"Aaron.." his name leaving your mouth in a pleasurable moan.

Hotch places his hands on your thighs and looks at you for permission before proceeding. You give him a nod, before he pulls down your lacy black underwear leaving them at your ankles while you pull up your dress in order to give him more access.

He starts to place kisses on your thighs with and with god given mouth, it felt so good. He moves from your thighs to your center, exactly where you needed him. He licks your slit which arises a moan out of you before he starts devouring you, using his fingers to start rubbing your clit at a good speed and the only thing you could do is grip his hair and moan his name.

"Aaron.. if you k-keep, i-it up, i'm going too-" He goes a bit faster, pleasuring you even more then before if possible.

"oh my god." You moan loudly while gripping his hair and within a few seconds you feel your release.

He grabs something to clean you up with and afterwards you get down from the counter to fix yourself, pulling up your panties and pulling your dress down to how it was originally. You turn around to see Hotch staring at you with the most shit-eating grin he can offer, loving the fact that he had you under his control.

You look down at the tent in his pants, and his eyes catches yours. "Don't worry about that, I would like your number though" He says coming over to you and placing a kiss onto your lips. He takes out his phone and you place your number into it, before you both leave  
the bathroom making your way back to your friends.

"Y/n you ready to go?" Emily looks at you with your purse in her hand, standing next to Penelope. "Yeah, let's get out of here" A smile appearing on your face thinking back to what just happened. You guys get a cab and make it back to the dorms, dropping Penelope off at her room down the hall. Then you and Emily going back to yours.

You both ended up passing out as soon as you hit your beds, hoping to get some sleep before going to classes in the morning.


	2. first day of class..

The first thing you hear in the morning is your loud ass alarm.

"Ughh" You groan to myself and turn over to shut it off. You look over at em, who was still knocked out and you laugh a little before hitting her with a pillow.

"Ughh tell me who's smart idea it was to go out yesterday." She turns over, rubbing her temple.

"I believe it was Pen's, her exact words being before we die from college lets go party" As you look in the mirror, marks from last night were present, leading from my jawline to your neck.

"Y/N" Emily calls "How did you get those marks" She gasps coming over to you. "Well I hit it off with that stranger and he kinda gave me head in the bathroom" She eyes your neck, and looks at your flustered face. "And I gave him my number so let's see if he texted." She then goes to your phone and tosses it at you. You unlock it and go to your messages as you fall onto your bed and Emily goes into your bathroom getting ready for morning classes.

XXX - good morning beautiful, its Aaron

y/n - hi, its y/n 

You reply back, immediately getting a response back

Aaron - i'm busy all throughout this morning but would you like to meet somewhere around 4 ?

y/n - sure, i have to attend to some classes anyway this morning so ill be busy as well.

Aaron - okay, ill let you know around 3.

y/n - sounds good.

Emily comes out, a towel wrapped around her body and hair as she shoots a glance your way. "So what did this guy say" she asks, looking for clothes.

"Well we're meeting at 4 and his name is Aaron" You tell her grabbing what you need to take a shower and the clothes you'll wear for today. You settle on a light pink almost white, button up with a white skirt that ends at your legs near your knee. You also go with some flats that comfortable and decide to just leave your hair the way it usually do, letting it sit on your shoulders to frame your face.

"Ooo well good luck, I wish I have met someone. It looks like both you and Pen got lucky." Emily says with a pout. At this point both of you are ready and on your way to your first college class, of the day, Psychology 101.

"Trust me, Em I doubt this thing will last between him and I but he is mysterious and you know how I am about people." You guys enter the classroom and sit down in the front. "Plus you're smoking hot, with a even more wonderful personality and if all those men are blind it's their loss." You reassure her with a smile. 

"Awe" she leans over to kiss your cheek, "You sure know how to make a girl feel special" She says with a grin and a wink. You both quietly laugh not noticing the teacher came in, and you open your books getting ready for this boring lesson probably from an even more so boring old ass teacher.

"Good morning class, my name is Mr. Aaron Hotchner and I will be your professor for Psychology 101." Your eyes shoot up and your heart drops to your stomach. He looks at you back with an even surprised look for a quick second well before anyone notices.

Emily glances at you and whispers "Hey you okay y/n?" with a slightly worried look, she thinks to herself for a second "oh my god, isn't he the guy from last night?"

You shoot her a death glare before quickly nodding "Oh my fucking god, yes he is, i'm so screwed" saying it in a nervous speed talking way. You both just look at one another before a voice interrupts your whispering.

"Ladies in the front, would you care to repeat what I just said or are you going to talk throughout my whole lesson." Hotch says with a straight but almost mean look, very different then last night.

Then again, who would have thought that the person I came close to fucking last night, would be my Psychology professor. 


	3. unexpected events...

You give a slight cough trying to cover the awkwardness that is apparent in the room. 

"Ehm- no, sorry professor" Your voice squeaks out, like a high school girl talking to her crush. You slouch in your seat and try to avoid Hotch's gaze, looking at your empty paper instead, feeling embarrassed at what's happening now. 

Hotch continues on with his lecture, "As I was saying, can anyone tell me the branches of psychology ?" walking around and observing the class. 

You keep your hand down, not wanting to attract any attention while a lot of other people have their hands up, knowing the answer that is quite easy actually. Hotch takes a moment walking around his desk, before stopping and then points at you. 

"You, what's your name?" You look up, at him with a hidden confused face, obviously he is playing dumb or he really doesn't remember you. 

"My name is y/n and there's 2 branches, one being basic which deals with general, social, child, abnormal, physiological, animal, and parapsychology. The other branch being applied deals with clinical, industrial, educational, crime, military, mental health and law." saying this with a confident look on your face, because you know he was testing you.

"And what is considered the most difficult jobs in the field?" He shoots back with a drop dead unfazed look. 

"Parapsychology because it's the study of non quantifiable phenomena, such as telepathy, telekinesis, extrasensory perception, and mind reading. Also forensic psychology because they're known as profilers. They have to work with victims of crimes and figuring out how the criminals themselves operate. The mental health and the lives of crime victims to depends on the accuracy of their job, and also have to earn an additional degree in clinical psychology." 

Hotch looks at you with a straight face, he doesn't say anything but instead continues on asking questions for the rest of the time. 

After his class, you try your best to leave without catching his eye or sharing a glance. Thankfully you and Emily leave, talking about random shit like you usually do. You both separate and go to the rest of your classes before meeting each other outside for lunch. 

"Hey, y/n over here!" You see Emily and Penelope sitting at a table in the shade waiting for you. It's a very sunny but cool day, the birds chirping in the distance, you can hear the laughter and conversations all around.

"Hi girls," hugging both of them before taking a seat with my lunch. You've always been a mix between healthy and unhealthy, but today was one of your healthy days having a salad, dressing, and some grapes with you. 

"So what is this I hear, that Mr. Club guy is now Mr. Professor, hmm?" Penelope says following with a bit of laughter. You glance at her and then at Emily before rolling your eyes and shoving another bite of your salad in your mouth. 

"Listen, i'm mortified it even happened but now that it did, I don't even know what to do. I can't continue it, but do I talk to him about it? In class today, it didn't even seem like he remembered last night." You throw your head back a bit letting out a groan of frustration. 

"Well if he didn't remember you, he wouldn't have texted you?" Emily chimes in, turning her head towards you and then takes a sip of her water. "Plus, you guys had some weird tension in class today when he choose you out of everyone to answer." Making a good point. 

Your phone's flash blinks on and off indicating you had gotten an notification. 

You look at it and your face turns into a confused expression and at the same time your heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest. 

"Uhh, speak of the devil" You turn your phone towards the both of them, letting them read the message you had just received. 

Aaron - my office, 5 pm. 

"Oh my, looks like y/n is in trouble" Pen says, pushing her pink glasses up her face with a smirk on her face. Emily lets out a laugh right after hearing this and you shoot both of them a glare. 

"Oh shut up, listen it will be pretty short, I'll let him know it was a mistake and we won't have to talk about it." You tell them with a nervous feeling in your heart. "So let's meet at our dorm room at like 7 pm? We can do homework and talk about what actually happened with Penelope" You say with a smirk on your face, trying to turn the attention towards her. 

This time you and Emily laugh and look at Penelope who sticks her tongue at you both and gets up to leave. 

"Hahaha" Pen mocks you both, "I'll see you little ladies at 7, try not to miss me too much. I have to go to computer science" She says with a small pout.

When you and Emily are both done with your classes at this point so you leave and go do some shopping at some of the shops around campus. You both finish by 4, and are in your dorms by 4:15. Some nice perks of having a car and living in dorms. 

"Wake me up, when you get back from your meeting with the cute professor." Em calls out to you as you come out the bathroom. You brush your hair out and decide to put it in a simple ponytail, leaving a few pieces out in the front. You put on makeup to cover the dark spots that's still there from before. 

"Oh shush, just go take your nap you dummy." You say shaking my head. You decide to throw on a simple fitted black v neck long sleeve. You pair it with a tan mini skirt that isn't too short and makes your body stand out. As for shoes, you go with a pair of black ankle strap flats. You look in the mirror studying yourself. 

You check the time, 4:45. shit you were going be 10 minutes late. You quickly grab your white handbag, throwing your dorm key, car keys and phone into it. You leave the dorm quickly locking the door and make your way towards your car. 

You drive to the campus, thinking to yourself and feeling a bit nervous. You couldn't pinpoint why. He was just a guy in a club and you was just a girl in a club. But for whatever reason you needed to get over it. You just need to get over it and talk to him and move on. 

You lock your car door, throwing your keys into your bag, taking out your phone. The time is 5:05 pm, You sped walk making you way to his office. 

You stand in front of the door. 

Psychology 101 

You gulp hard, breathing in and out trying to slow down your heart from racing so fast. You raise your hand gently and knock on Hotch's door.


	4. anger is powerful..

"Come in" a male's muffled voice says from behind the door. 

As soon as you walk in, you glance around the room taking in the sight of his office. The floor is a walnut wooden color and fits well with the rest of the interior. The walls match the floor and the room itself gives off a very professor mature vibe. There's a burgundy desk that sits in the middle facing towards the door. A black chair, that's looks comfortable is placed in front of the desk and faces towards the person sitting behind the desk. Behind the dark colored desk is a large bookshelf, that's quite noticeable with tons of books that sit comfortably, on each shelf, the room looking very nice and goes with the formal vibe that this man gives off. 

You sit in the black chair and look sideways, noticing the dark brown frame-three squared windows that are all connected to one another. You fidget in the seat due to the uncomfortable situation that's now apparent. You finally decide to look straight ahead of yourself, now noticing the attractive man in front of you. You can tell he's in his suit from earlier, a navy colored one that suits him well, His raven colored hair that makes him look ten times more hot, and he's one of those people that as soon as you see him, you know he means business. You stare at him a little too long because his voice breaks me out of thought.

"Y/n?" Hotch says with a confused expression his face. 

"Uhm, yeah sorry my bad" You respond, your eyes shooting straight to your hands as you start fidgeting with your nails.

Hotch puts down his pen as he was writing something in a notebook the whole time. He lets out a sigh, his eyes looking at you. 

"You know why I asked you here right." Hotch says with no emotion in his voice and not directly confronting the subject. You mentally roll your eyes annoyed at the obvious. You look up at him to catch his dark brown eyes staring back at you.

"Stop acting like I'm dumb, I know why Aaron so why don't you drop the act. Act like a man, i'm not a child so just be straight forward." You say, scoffing afterwards. You mentally slap myself, regretting what you said forgetting the fact he's your professor and not someone you can easily just snap at.

You can tell just by his movements, he looks a bit angry? He clenches and then quickly unclench his jaw. His hands are folded on the desk, turning white almost like he is restraining himself. 

"Act like a man?" Hotch stands up from his desk and walks over to where you're sitting. He towers over you and now is inches away from your face. You try to sink deep into the chair but its fails, still feeling his breath on your face. He says in a whisper of a voice close to your ear "If I was a coward, I wouldn't have had you moaning my name, like I did." 

You feel yourself blush out of embarrassment, imagining how red your face must be. "W-What?" You stutter, as a breath that you was unaware of holding lets out. "Yeah that's what I thought" Hotch says, and as he pulls his face away, standing up straight. You see that proud of himself slight grin he has appearing on his face. 

You stand up automatically and without a second thought, You smack him. 

"Don't talk to me ever again." You say while opening and then shutting the door. 

You hear footsteps from behind you as you fast walk the hell out of campus. Your glad you didn't park to far away from the car but you hate the fact that he decided to pull some shit like that. Who did he think he was trying to he smart like that. 

"Y/n, stop. Why are you acting like this? What did I do for you to smack me?" He says, with the utmost confused expression on his face. He grabs your arm with the lightest movement. You shake him off not wanting to be around him at all. 

How oblivious can someone truly be, you don't just say that to someone. You keep walking right before you reach my car. He's still right behind you so you turn around. 

"Aaron, just leave me alone." Is the only thing you say to him before you unlock your car, to turn it on to drive away and back to your dorm. 

You look at your phone, the time is 6:50. You have a few notifications, some from Aaron, Emily and even Penelope. You remain in your car, and start breaking down. You hated the fact that he did that, you've had really bad anger issues growing up but was able to hide it really well. But sometimes you would just snap, and It was like he was deliberately trying to piss me off. If you were being honest with yourself, you probably would say it's because of your issues, when you have had a verbally and sometimes psychically abusive father during your early years, it tends to leave everlasting scars on you. 

And depending on how you deal with it matters even more. So the fact that during your teenager years, you jumped from men to men seeking validation, which wasn't the best option. Having a mother who was more interested in her job then you wasn't fine either.

You find some tissue and wipe away your tears. You groan before fixing your face so it doesn't look like you just bawled my eyes out. You look at your phone, reading over all the text messages you have and realizing you've been crying for the past 20 minutes.

Em - hey, you almost here ? 

Pen - I'll be there in a few min babes, xoxo 

Aaron - What did I do to trigger you ?

Em - Pen just came, do we need to kill that guy?

Aaron - look can we talk? The meeting wasn't supposed to end like that. 

Pen - Do we need to send out a search party for you ?

You close your eyes, for a second and then reluctantly get out the car, locking it and head towards your room.

You open the door to see a worried Emily and Penelope as they quickly rush over and hug you. You guys stay like that for a few before Em breaks the silence.

"Hey are you okay?" She asks with a worried expression. 

"Yeah, we were worried about you sweetie" Pen chimes in rubbing small circles in your back. 

You let out a small but sad chuckle, "I'm fine, I overreacted because of how he was acting and then got emotional." 

"I'll get the tea and snacks" Penelope says, kissing you on the cheek before making her way to the kitchen. 

"and I'll get the movies and blankets" Em says throwing you a reassuring smile before leaving as well. 

You decide to take a hot shower, hoping to wash away all the overwhelming emotions from everything that happened today. It helps a bit but not as much as you've wanted it too. Your thoughts travel back to everything that has happened so far. Who knew that such an attractive man could stir up so much trouble in such an little amount of time. But even now for some reason you felt like this wasn't the end of it but the beginning. 

You found yourself questioning why you felt such a strong pull towards Hotch. When it came to men, you felt nothing you just wanted some feeling or validation. No matter how much you got, you were always bored and eventually pushing them away. 

Your thoughts get interrupted by a knock on the door. 

"Hey, y/n you okay in there? its been an hour already." recognizing the voice as Penelope's.

"Yeah, sorry i'm fine, just thinking." You speak loud making sure she hears you. 

You turn off the shower and throw some pajamas on. As you exit the bathroom, you find both of your friends waiting for you around the TV. Thankfully, none of you guys had classes tomorrow so you guys would be able to binge watch a show. 

Smiling at them, you ask "So what are we watching tonight girls?"

The both say in unison, "Grey's Anatomy" As you plop down to the floor grabbing a spoon and taking a spoonful of the mint chocolate chip ice cream Emily had gotten.


	5. coping..

It's been a week since everything that happened with Hotch. Thankfully you only have his class three times a week, so you didn't have to see him every day. You just didn't understand why it hurt so much too see him.

Usually males don't have this effect on you, but for some reason he was different. He's been trying to talk to you after class and was calling your phone but you never answered. It's now Sunday, and after seeing Hotch for- thankfully the last time for the week, you're finally able to leave and have some fun.

Lately you can say you've been living my life a bit spontaneous. Yesterday, you've decided to get some piercings specifically another ear piercing and a small nose piercing. You never really been a tattoo or piercing type of person but you decided to just go with the flow. Both you and Em got matching tattoos, as well which was a butterfly on the side of your breasts.

If you were being honest, you thought you were just doing this to get rid of him from your mind. So what better way to go out with your two best friends. You invited one of my your friends, Spencer Reid to join and reluctantly he agreed.

You had met Spencer in your biology class and you hit it off quite well despite your different personalities. He's such a cute and nerdy person. He was always lecturing you and giving you tips about books, biology and overall just ranting. You've always loved when he rants because he is always so passionate about the topics.

So it was you, Emily, Penelope, Derek who was Pen's friend and Spencer. You all were like a little group at this point. You decided to go to bar, Spencer most likely being the designated driver. The whole way there, Spencer was giving you guys a speech about date rape drugs.

"Spencie, we love you but you're scaring us" You let out a chuckle, as you get out of the car. You hand him some money, knowing he'll end up having to pick up the tab at the end of the night.

For tonight's outfit you're dressed in a spaghetti strap, low cut, skin-tight little bright red dress that hugged your curves. It went low on your breasts and to top it off, you had straightened your hair and a pair of strappy black platform heels. You went with some light eye shadow and bright red lipstick.

In Emily and Penelope's words you looked 'irresistible'. They were the definition of great friends always being in your corner when you needed them to be. You were glad you had them in your life.

As you walk into the club immediately going to the bar while Spencer and Derek grabbed a booth. The three girls decided to do a round of vodka and lime pieces to get you guys started. We then ordered some more drinks for yourselves and the boys.

You decided to get Derek a martini and Spence a beer, grabbing a water for him just in case knowing he doesn't like to drink. A few drinks and some conversations later, most of you go onto the dance floor and start having fun. Derek is dancing with Penelope, while you and Emily are dancing with one another.

You all switch with one another dancing and having fun all around until, you step away to check on Spencer.

"Hey, how are you doing?" You ask him, peeking over his shoulder to see what he's doing on his phone. He lets out a little laugh which is like a breath of fresh air.

"I'm fine, just reading some information and checking out if any new books will come out soon, what about you ?" He asks pushing a glass of water towards you.

"Awe, thank you Spencie." You say, before quickly kissing his cheek and then gulping down the water leaving yourself refreshed from all the dancing. You stare at Spencer for a minute, taking in his features. You've never really noticed until now, but he's very attractive.

"Hey Spencer" you saying getting his attention

"Hm?" He looks up from his phone, and tilts his head to the side glancing at you.

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" You ask, maybe the liquid gave you the bluntness you have right now.

"Uhm- I don't-I don't know, why?" He rambles getting flustered.

You giggle noticing his blush, "Oh my god, i'm sorry spencie, i'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, you're just cute" You tell him while letting your head fall onto his shoulder.

Meeting Spencer was a good thing for you, he is the one male who didn't want you for sex, or anything psychical. With the small amount of time you've known him for, you can tell he's a good person and you wanted to protect that at all costs.

You even tried making a move on him to forget about Aaron but luckily he turned you down. He really has been such a great friend and he seems so innocent and pure.

"Don't you think we should get you home, y/n" He implies, sounding a tad bit worried for you.

"Nah, I'm done feeling sorry for myself." All of a sudden you get an amazing thought and quickly grab Emily and Penelope from the dance floor. You tell Derek to go over to the DJ and put on a good ass song.

"Hey bartender, pass me that bottle of vodka" You say to her, passing me a bottle reluctantly.

You stand on the bar also telling Em to get her ass up here. You notice the DJ has changed the song and Derek strolls over giving you a mic, and Penelope starts to record you both.

You grab it and yell into it "LETS TURN SOME SHIT UPPP" as you hear tons of cheering and voices afterwards.

next morning'

You wake up, yawning, looking around groggily thinking to where the fuck was you at. You had a massive headache from the night before and looked at the time.

"Shit, I have class in an hour." You say out loud speaking to yourself.

You look around again noticing a girl passed out on the bed. You squint and blink trying to get the room to stop spinning.

"Ugh never am I drinking again" The girl says, recognizing her voice automatically.

"Oh shit Em, I'm so shit faced, I didn't even recognize you and we got class in like 45 minutes." You admit and hearing a groan from her.

"Yeah.." You quickly say before taking a quick shower and getting dressed.

You get dressed, trying to look semi normal with your curly hair loose around your shoulders. Your outfit is a black simple spaghetti top that low cut enough to show your breasts, a simple black-white checkered skirt that ends to your knees completed with a pair of regular white-black Adidas.

You put in some contacts and grabbing a pair of sunglasses knowing damn well you're gonna need them and your books for the class.

"Emm, hurry your ass up before I leave you" You yell after her, seeing her move faster but groggily.

You take 2 pills for the pounding headache you have and leave towards your car, Emily following you in pursuit.

After a carefully 15 minute drive you and Emily make it just in time for your favorite freaking class.

Psychology 101.


	6. forgiveness..

Emily walks into the class while you linger for a second outside not wanting to face what your trying to avoid.

You let out a sigh before walking in and taking your spot in the front next to Emily. You take out the stuff you need for class and go onto your phone.

"Aye, your the hot girl from the viral video?" You hear, looking up from your phone at some boy who's standing in front of you.

You tilt my head whilst staring at him in confusion. "Uhh what video?" You ask noticing him taking out his phone showing a video that's indeed you.

You're on top of a bar singing, drinking a bottle and dancing along to a song that was playing. It continues on for a few more minutes before someone pulls you down. Well Spencer Reid dragging your sorry down from the bar, not right before you yell into the mic real loud.

"Fuck you hotc-" luckily before you finish, Spencer interrupts you whispering to Derek and then Derek telling everyone that the show is over.

Oh my god, what were you thinking, you most definitely was talking about Hotch.

Shit. shit. shit. You was secretly hoping no one understood what you were trying to say thinking to yourself.. Even more so, you hoped Hotch didn't watch the video. Though that was a unlikely considering it had well over 2,000 views.

You gave the boy his phone and he asks you for your number trying to make his move, right before you hear someone clearing their throat behind him clearly trying to announce their presence. He turns around, and you catch who the person was.

"Can you take your seat, or would you like to display whatever you're showing to the other students?" Hotch says, you slouch in your seat wanting to be away from this as much as possible.

You push your glasses down a bit and roll your eyes annoyed with the current situation. The boy apologizes before taking his seat in the back. Hotch's eyes linger down onto yours, swallowing hard which prominently shows his Adams apple.

You lean forward, knowing your breasts must've be very noticeable. "Are you gonna stand here all day or teach the fucking class?" You ask letting a smirk appear on your lips before leaning back in your chair and taking out a pen.

"Ms. y/l/n, that language is unacceptable, stay after class so I can talk to you." He says with a hint of anger and maybe even lust appearing in his eyes.

He then turns and walks over to his desk to start his lesson, shooting you several longing glances throughout the class.

After class, everyone starts leaving and Emily starts talking to you.

"Hey do you want me to wait for you outside?" She asks, before grabbing her bag.

"Nah, you go to your next class just text me later letting me know where we meeting for lunch." You respond back, starting to put your stuff away as well. You try to hurry so you don't have to talk to Hotch but that ultimately fails.

"Y/n stop avoiding me" He says gently grabbing your arm. Just him grabbing your arm felt electrifying, You hated the fact that even though you was annoyed, you wanted to feel his touch.

You sigh feeling tired of the back and forth.

"Aaron.."

"Y/n what did I do, to hurt make you hate me?" He says abruptly.

You turn your head to him looking at him in those gorgeous deep brown eyes. You stand up straight, letting your arm slip out of his grasp.

"I don't hate you. I hate the fact were acting like a condescending asshole." You tell him letting out another sigh. It's silent for a minute, thinking about how you acted so childish at times. You ultimately decide to let it go, trying to not have your emotions always get to you. "I-I'm sorry Aaron, I tend to overthink and overreact." You gulp hard, knowing you can't be mad at him forever and that saying sorry was never your strong suit. You give him a reassuring small smile, receiving one in return as well from him.

"I'm sorry as well y/n. I didn't mean to come off like that." He tells me gazing into y/e/c eyes with his dark brown piercing ones. "I saw the video." He says quickly, adding it in casually.

You turn around embarrassed. Well shit you didn't want that to happen. He quickly lets out a slight chuckle noticing your embarrassment.

"It's fine y/n, I was an asshole after all" He says giving you a reassuring touch by grazing your arm. You both lock eyes for a minute and both feeling the tension taking over.

In quick movements, he grabs onto your waist kissing you passionately, as you move your hands gripping his hair. The kisses that are shared feels hot n heavy, full of need. He places his mouth kissing from your mouth, to your jaw and working his way to your neck and breasts. His mouth finding your pleasure point making you squirm and moan,

As you try to keep as quiet as possible. But he makes his hard pleasuring you in ways which drives you crazy. His hands move one to place his hand on your throat as he has the other grabbing your hair, pulling it back a bit letting out a grunt. You let your head fall back, letting a moan leave your lip, tired of all the teasing he was doing.

"Aaron. I need you" You say telling him in a light whisper, starting feel the familiar wet feeling in your aching core wanting to be relieved.

"Calm down, my kitten." He tells you whispering it in your ear, your heart rate quickly speeds up and you get a butterfly feeling in your stomach because of it. He then moves away, having one hand on your hip to firmly hold you against his semi erection, and the other one palming your breasts as he continues to make out with you.

He's doing this to tease you and it drove you crazy. It's quiet for a minute as he rests his forehead against yours and the only sound apparent is the heavy breathing that both of you both are doing. He then moves away letting his forehead rest against yours before proceeding to give you a kiss on your lips.

"We can't- not here at least. I'll text you" He says offering you a smile. You can tell he wanted to but he knew better then to act on his desires.

As you both fix yourselves, a phone ringing has you guys both jump slightly. He looks around trying to find it and quickly answering it .

"Yes?" He questions looking bothered by whoever was calling.

He lets the other person on the phone talk for a minute. And you take this minute to fix yourself, making sure, you didn't just look like you had a steamy make-out session.

"Hayley, I'm busy. I will take Jack this weekend."

He clenches his jaw, a clear sign he was stressed or angry. He turns away to speak to most likely the woman named Hayley. Your eyes widen a bit as you couldn't help to think what was his connection to her. You hear him whispering. and you were trying not to eavesdrop but couldn't help to hear something you wasn't supposed too.

"Hayley, I will be home after I'm done in the office. I have to go back to work now. Love you too" He says whispering the last part so you don't hear it.

You go over to grab your bag before heading to your next class leaving Hotch alone. You tear up a bit thinking of who the women was. Throughout the day, it was the one main thing was on your mind. The last thing you wanted was to be caught up in some love affair.

Its now lunch and see sitting at a table Emily, Spencer, Penelope and Derek as you let yourself sit lazily onto the table there.

"Woahh there pretty girl, you doing okay after last night" He asks letting out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I had to stop you before you get alcohol poisoning or die." Spencer says with a worried expression.

"Yeah, i'm fine now, just hungover" You say weakly smiling not paying much attention to the conversation.

All you can think of that Hayley bitch he was talking too. It's not your place to be mad or intrude but after what just happened and how he been trying to talk to you this whole time, the only thing is why? Especially when he has a wife ? possible girlfriend? whoever she is. You had a gut feeling you wasn't going to like the answer.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Penelope who apparently has been trying to talk to you.

"Y/n are you okay sweetie? You don't look too good." She asks you looking at you with a confused but worried expression.

"Yeah sorry I'm fine Pen." You say leaning over giving her a kiss on the cheek.

After lunch you all go your separate ways, going to each of your different classes.


	7. confrontation..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This gets spicy

You let out a huge sigh as you get dressed. You choose to settle with a white low-cut strapped tank top paired with a simple pair of gray joggers deciding to keep your Adidas with it.

ding ding'

You look at your phone receiving a text message from Hotch. You were debating on canceling the meeting you had set up, You was an avoider not a confronter and it's not your business with what he does and with who. But he's so confusing with his actions. You look over reading the message and looking at the time.

Aaron - be ready at 6, i'll pick you up down the street your dorms.

The time is 5:50 as you glance at it before typing your reply to him.

y/n - okay.

You drop your phone in your black purse before looking at yourself in the long mirror that was placed at the end of your bed. You hear the door to the dorm open and you glance over at it.

"Hey stranger, how are you ?" Emily says smiling at you while coming in and plopping down onto her bed, which was across from yours.

"I'm meeting Aaron in a few, but i'm okay. What about you?" You reply, turning around to look at her.

"I'm good, but what happened after I left the class" She asks, referring to the obvious tension, she noticed the between the both you before.

You tell her what happened including the part about the women and tell her your thoughts about it.

"Listen babes, if he's doing some sneaky shit cut it off, you need someone who loves you and wants to be with you. Do you even know whats going on between you two now?"

You gulp hard before looking down at the floor not knowing how to answer. Do you like him ? Do you even want to be with him ? Or is this going to be another sex without strings thing.

"I don't know Em, I'm not ready for a relationship but I do know that I want to continue to fuck around with him. I don't like- not like that at least. I mean he's attractive but I don't want anything more then sex." You say to her finally responding.

"Okay well ask him about it, I know you hate confrontation but sweetie you have got to get a clear answer from him." She replies back instantly as she takes her shoes off and changes into some pajamas.

ding ding'

You pick your phone from your back to look at the notification you've received.

Aaron- I'm here.

You let out a small grunt dreading what comes next.

"Well looks like you have you're chance. be safe y/n," Emily says coming to give you a hug before you grab you bag and keys.

"Oh and before I forget, Me and Derek invited this girl named Jennifer to sit with us tomorrow. I think you'll like her, she gives off mom vibes." Emily says to me before you leave.

You let out a slight chuckle before responding. "Okay, if you guys like her, I'm sure I will too." You respond before locking the door and making your way to the car.

You see Aaron in his car, Its a nice four-seater but also spacious, the color is black but you don't pay attention to the specific type. You open the door noticing his features. He's in a casual outfit, a regular gray undershirt with a blue long sleeve casual button down. He's wearing jeans as well, and his hair is a bit of mess, like he was messing around with it. Its not surprising he's able to pull off both the casual and professional look.

He reaches over opening the car door pushing it open so you can climb in. Once you're in, he starts driving and there's a long silence as he drives.

"What's bothering you y/n?" He asks me causing you to give him a glance before you start to adjust your seat belt.

"What do you mean?" You say, deciding to play coy.

"Y/n, ever since you stepped in the car you been fidgeting in your seat. You're nervous so what's going on?" He asks again.

there's a moment a silence, debating if you've want to ask about what you heard. Fuck it, you say mentally cursing at yourself. "Who was that woman you were talking too on the phone." You ask just staring at him.

"What are you talking-" He starts to say before you cut him off.

"Hayley. Don't play dumb, Aaron I hate when people lie to me." You say just looking at him.

He pulls into a parking lot and puts the car in park. You look out the window to see rain coming down heavily. Shit you should have checked the weather before you left.

"It's my ex-wife.." He says looking at you for a reaction.

You're eyes widen, shooting straight up to him not believing what you've heard. You clear your throat not knowing what to say. He takes this time to continue and start to explain.

"She was cheating on me and I filed for divorce. We have shared custody of Jack, who's our child. The divorce was finalized around 8 months ago. She wants to work things out. That night at the club my friend Dave forced me out to try and have fun and get my mind off of it." He says, with no expression on his face, not giving you anyway to read what he was thinking in his mind.

You become wide eyed at what you just heard not knowing if you believed what he was saying. It becomes silent again, neither one of you not knowing what to say.

"So do you want to fix things with her?" You break the silence asking him quietly, but curiosity getting the best of you.

"No I don't, I loved her yes but I'm not in love with her, not anymore." He say staring intensely at you.

"So why, the determination to talk to me? Your hot and then cold and then never clear with your intentions." You reply to him, just glancing at him thinking of how you've gotten yourself into this situation.

"I don't know y/n, your just different. Every time I see you, I have to hold myself back from wanting to kiss you, or touch you. I shouldn't have these thoughts about you yet I do. I'm not even ready for a relationship, and I don't even know what I'm doing." He says letting his head fall into his hands.

"I don't want one either Aaron, but whatever is-" You gulp your impulsiveness taking over as you continue, "I want to continue it, no strings attached." You quietly say, loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough to ignore it if he wanted too.

He just looks up at you with those lustful eyes, not saying anything, As you look away trying to avoid his burning gaze. All you can hear is the rain falling onto the car's windows.

He takes his hand, placing his thumb onto your bottom lip gliding it across before turning your head towards him so your eyes meet. He moves his other hand to your face, cupping it before he crashes his lips onto yours.

You and Hotch's movements are fast but so deeply in tune with one another. His lips are rough against your soft ones, feeling the pleasure within each kiss as he moves his hands to your waist lifting you up and pulling your body onto his. You swiftly move your hands to his hair pulling and gripping it, causing multiple grunts to come from him.

Hotch moves his lips from your mouth traveling all the way to your neck, taking a few moments to lick, suck and kiss all over causing you to moan and whimper.

"Aaron.. s-stop teasing m-me." You tell him, barley being able to talk, feeling the dampness in your core. He moves his hands to take off your tank top tossing it somewhere in the back. You move your hands taking off his button down shirt quickly and swiftly, leaving him in gray shirt and yourself only in a deep purple bra.

He soon takes that off as well unclasping and throwing it in the back somewhere. He then uses his mouth to attack your right breast sucking harshly; while palming your left one playing and twisting with it's nipple.

"Aaron.." You gasp, feeling the pressure course through your body.

He grunts again before moving his head away, looking at you with hungry eyes like how a predator looks at their prey. You use this chance to take off his shirt, him now shirtless and you half naked.

You run my nails down his chest receiving heavy grunts from him, as he starts to grab your waist band hurriedly pulling your joggers down, in one quick movement leaving your lacy underwear on. You place your hands around his neck kissing him with everything you have, your mouths working well with one another.

_need, satisfaction, pleasure you name it._

He starts to unbuckle his pants, throwing it in the back as well. As soon as he's done with that he grips your waist placing you onto your back in the passenger seat. He places his body in between you and starts kissing you on your mouth, working his way down onto your jaw, before re-applying his hands on each of your breasts teasing it's nipples. You groan wanting more of him, wanting to feel him inside of you fully already.

"A-Aaron come on n-now.." You say gripping his head with both your hands.

He looks back up at you through his beautiful lashes and hungry eyes, as you look down at him seeing his face red from the steamy moment that's occurring.

"Kitten..." he whispers. "That's not my name." He says, as each breath he lets out you feel on your skin. His hands go to your matching purple underwear, gripping it and pulling it down slowly and taking it off to toss it with the rest of your clothing. 

"Daddy.." you say letting out an involuntary moan. He must have liked that because he moves his head to your pussy and you feel his tongue graze your slit, in a slow agonizing pace.

"I want you to beg for it.. beg for what you want my kitten.." He says every word letting a breathe out onto your core driving you crazy.

"Daddy please, fuck me, j-just make cum." You say quietly hoping he does what you asked.

As soon as you say that he attaches his mouth onto your clit sucking, licking and hitting all the right spots. All you can do is let out strings of moans and curse words while letting your hands tangle in his hair, The feeling he gives you being so euphoric. He keeps doing this magically finding all your spots making your high increase by each second.

"Aaron.. i'm going t-too.." You let out a moan, having him pull away abruptly, making you at the loss of contact. He glances up at you, his lips glistening with you juices. He pulls himself up before devouring your lips causing you to be able to taste myself on your lips.

He pulls away, looking at you smirking just like he was that first night. You nod letting him know you wanted him to hurry up and bury himself inside you. He lines himself up with your entrance before gently pushing himself into you making you wince at his length. He was no doubt the biggest one out of all the males from my past. He looks at you worried for a second before you wrap your arms around him kissing him sloppily, letting him know it was okay to proceed. He thrusts in you, picking up his pace with each stroke.

"A-Aaron.. f-faster.." Was all you can say before he speeds up hitting my g-spot at an inhumane pace. You moan loudly and him grunting as well. You drag your nails down his back, most likelyleaving scratch marks making him groan even louder loving what you were you doing.

He starts thrusting in you sloppily, as he moves one hand to your clit rubbing at a fast pace, the other hand holding your waist making you moan louder then ever.

"Are you on the pill?" He asks, as you nod, He starts thrusting sloppy in you.

He looks at your face mesmerizing the sight, before whispering in my ear.

"Come for me my kitten..." was all you needed before he thrusts one last time finishing in your pussy, as you finish clenching around his cock.


	8. fun days..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Hotch !

You wake up checking your phone to see that it was Thursday and you didn't have any classes. Emily had a few today and you didn't want to bother Hotch, knowing he decided to take Jack for the day.

If you were being honest you haven't spoken much since what happened in his car. So for the past two days you just haven't talked besides yesterday in class. You both did agree to keep it strictly sexual not wanting to move into anything.

You call Spencer, seeing what he was up to and too guilt trip him into coming outside and sending the day with you to which he reluctantly agreed, despite wanting to sit and read some old books he loved. Spencer and you had very different definitions of what "fun" was so you decided to go with something that you and him both would like.

You get dressed in a white short-sleeve turtleneck to hide the hickeys that Hotch had marked you with. You decide to go with high-waisted, knee ripped black jeans and a pair of black boots that had a small heel. You put your hair in a ponytail leaving out two strands in the front to frame my face. You decided to wear your glasses being to lazy to put in contacts.

You look at your phone, glancing at the time it read 11:30 am expecting at any moment to hear Spencer knock at the door. 

_knock knock'_

"Come in, It's open Spence." You shout before hearing the door open revealing your handsome friend. His brown hair is ruffled but in an neat way, as he's dressed in his normal white shirt with a blue vest on top, having dark blue jeans and wearing a pair of black converse.

He stands there awkwardly his hands in his pockets. He's always been the shyest one out of the group but you all loved him for it and wouldn't change it.

"You ready?" He asks you still standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, Let's go" You say grabbing your bag and car keys.

You decide to take you both to a new diner that you guys both quickly grew to love called 'The Sizzling Griddle'. As soon as you walk in, it gave off a very warm and cozy feeling and smelt like pancakes and syrup. It's a breakfast/brunch place that offers so many choices. He chooses something simple, same as you, not wanting to be too full.

You guys get your food and start eating, talking about random things ranging from books to school, to what you all should do over the weekend.

"Hey, if you ask me both Penelope and Derek are for sure hiding there feelings for one another." You tell Spencer letting a chuckle out afterwards.

He laughs, agreeing with you. You both eat and argue over who should pay the bill, Spencer ultimately winning. You let Spencer drive, heading to the mall, hoping to find some things to get.

You both go to all the shops there was and as you almost decide to go back, we see a book shop next to some little kids toy shop. Spencer looks at you with a smile and you laugh nodding back at him knowing that he wanted to go in.

You stand by the entrance waiting as Spencer goes in most likely looking at all the books he can take with him to read.

"Y/n?" You hear, coming from an all too familiar voice as you look up from your phone seeing the man you knew holding onto a little boys hand.

"Aaron?" You reply, your eyes going from him to the boy with a smile on his face, his head turned to the toy shop.

"What are you doing here?" He asks you, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

"Uhm, with a friend" You say awkwardly, placing your phone in the butt pocket of your jeans.

"Daddy, I want to buy a toy, come on" the boy whines, before looking at me. "Hii, Are you one of daddy's friends" He says, the question being directed towards you. You bend down a bit before patting the boy on his head.

"Hi there, I believe you are Jack." You half say and half ask, causing him to nod rapidly. You then giggle at the fact that he was so high energy. "Well I'm y/n, nice to meet you" holding out your hand for him to shake. He gives it a little shake and you stand up straight facing Hotch.

Before either one of you is able to say anything, Spence comes out the store a singular bag in his hand, looking inside as he speaks. "Hey, y/n I got a whole bunch of books, want to see?" He asks you, as he finally looks up and notice Hotch there.

Hotch looks at Spencer for a quick second, before looking back at you his eyes staring into yours and you notice he quickly clenches and unclenches his jaw.

"Well, it looks like your busy, so I'll talk to you later, cmon buddy" Hotch says, shooting you and Spencer a glare before holding Jack's hand again and walking away.

You can imagine how embarrassed you looked because the next thing you hear is Spencer asking if you were okay. You quickly recover yourself, shaking your head before replying back to him.

"Yeah I'm fine, what books did you get?" You ask him putting a light smile on your face, trying your best not to think about what happened.

You drive back Spence, who drops you back at the dorms wanting to go home to read his new books no doubt, as you decide to do some work for your classes.

...

You wake up the next morning, grateful that you only had a few classes today. One of them being psychology. You decide to throw on something that would make Hotch go a bit crazy and make you feel confident. You do your morning routine which was the same as always and decided to let your hair down and fall to your shoulders.

For your outfit you choose a dark blue crop top that had small thin straps and made your figure stand out with ripped white jeans and a pair of plain white shoes.

Usually you drove both you and Emily to the campus but you had received a text earlier that she was staying with the Jennifer girl that hopefully you was going to meet today since she was the newest addition to the group.

You stroll in the classroom looking down at your phone when you suddenly bump into someone.

"Ow, watch where you're going" You say groaning looking up to see who you bumped into before rubbing my forehead from the pain that you received.

"Ms. y/l/n, please have a seat." Hotch says to you in a stern voice whilst shooting a very anger filled glare. You spot Emily sitting in her usual seat which was next to yours and you go over her.

You sit down in your seat confused as to why he was suddenly acting so cold. You look over to see Emily shooting you a confused expression, You can read her face quite clearly and know was she thinking the being the same thing you was thinking.


	9. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smut smut smut

_Emily - Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning_

_y/n - I guess so, I don't know why, but I guess i'll just ask about it later._

You put your phone down, trying your best to pay attention in the class but your mind kept trailing off as to why he was acting like such a child. Throughout class, You felt his eyes on you several times and each time, He looked you straight dead in the eyes before his eyes wandered.

It was filled with some type of emotion you couldn't pinpoint. You gave up trying to figure out what he was thinking. He was someone complicated and you didn't expect it to go away anytime soon.

...

As you walk out with Emily towards where you guys usually meet the rest of the group to eat and talk. You all were pretty lucky that your schedules worked out with another and you had free time all at the same time.

You see everyone sitting at a table including a blonde girl, who you haven't seen before. Once you get into the others earshot, you hear Spence rambling on about one of his favorite books.

"Kid, you have to have more of a social life then these books." Derek says to him, ruffling Spencer's hair with one of his hands.

Spencer groans trying to fix his hair and looks toward the blonde.

"JJ, tell him to knock it off." Spencer says to her, Garcia let out a hidden chuckle as you and Emily take your seats. You sit next to the girl known as JJ and Emily sits on the other side of her.

"Boys, knock it off before I put you both put you time out." She says giving them a slight smile and Derek puts his hands up in innocence with a smile on his face as well.

Emily puts her arm lazily around the girl's shoulder before introducing us. "Hey JJ this is y/n y/l/n and y/n, this is Jennifer Jareau." JJ turns to face you as you do the same and shake hands.

"So you must be the girl, my best friend is obsessed with?" You whisper to her causing her to let out a small chuckle.

"Yeah, she's not the only one " She responds glancing back at Em and then back to you.

"As long as you make her happy, I'm happy." You say offering a slight smile.

"Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less" She says, as you both turn around joining back the conversation with the rest of your friends.

...

It wasn't until you're in your next class, that you glance at your phone getting a text from someone.

_Aaron - Are you busy tonight?_

You furrow your brows in confusion because of the fact he was texting you at all, considering the way he was acting before. 

_y/n - no, I assume you want to talk?_

You close your phone not expecting a text back-

_Aaron- good, I'll pick you up in the parking lot of your dorms at 6._

Proving you wrong, you decide to look at the message not bothering to text back a reply but looking back up to pay attention to the professor.

...

Classes were over and it was now 5pm, meaning that Hotch would be there in less than an hour. You walk out of the bathroom, as you've just finished showering. You chose an outfit deciding on a simple white blouse with sleeves and a black skirt that ended mid thigh. Your plain black flats went perfectly adding some simple mascara to tie the look together.

You were always into stylish clothing, regarding pairing and matching but never really bothered with makeup.

You then hear the door to the room open, Emily strolling in with JJ, who were laughing and giggling with one another.

"Oh y/n, Hi. I um- I didn't expect you to be here." Emily says stuttering and looking at you then atJJ with an embarrassed and awkward look, like she had just gotten caught.

"Hi, y/n" You hear from JJ offering a slight smile as she walks to you giving you a small hug. She then pulls away to walk toward Emily's bed, sitting at the edge.

"Hi, you two, I'm actually on my way out." You say a mischievous smile creeping up on your face.

You grab your phone and bag before making your way to the doorway where Emily was standing. You give her a side hug before quickly whispering to her "Have fun, and I'll be out all night.

Don't stay up too late or be too loud." You tell your best friend catching her blush and then you leave, shaking your head and mentally laughing to yourself.

Aaron - I'm here.

You put your phone in my pocket, making your way to the parking lot.

As you walk outside, you notice Hotch sitting in his car looking out the drivers seat window in a deep trance. He doesn't even notice your presence until you open his car door getting in.

He turns his head in your direction looking at you up and down for a moment and before you even put your seat belt on, he starts speeding off.

"What the hell? Are you trying to kill me?" You saying loud enough to where he can hear you.

He looks at you for a moment staying as quiet as a pin drop before looking back to pay attention to the road. You scoff at him for acting like a child and ignoring you for no reason.

After a good ten minutes of silence, you decide to turn on the radio hoping to find a song you like, and trying to enjoy the moment when Planez comes on by an artist named Jeremih comes on. It was one of your favorites ironically, something you and Emily always listened to on a daily basis.

You were feeling the song looking out the window from your seat, bobbing your head along with the rhythm and humming the song to yourself. It abruptly stops and you look over at Hotch noticing he turned it off.

"Wow, you're really being an ass today, huh?" You say out loud in an assuming and annoyed tone. He stays quiet, the only reaction you get from him is the tensing up, his jaw tightening making the veins in his neck and arms more prominent.

The only way you could tell was because he was wearing one of his dress shirts, the sleeve rolled up mid way and his tie sat slightly adjusted like he was fidgeting with it alot before.

The car stops in a parking space and in front of it, a simple one story house. The exterior is beautiful having long vertical wooden posts, white borders and windows, and the frames being a striped blue. The house looked sophisticated, very much like how Hotch carried himself.

"We're here" He says sternly. He gets out the car slamming the door and locking it. You get out as well closing the door, your annoyance increasing because of how immature he was acting.

"Aaron, what is your goddamn problem?" You say to him, almost yelling because of how pissed you was.

In the distance, you both hear a dog bark. He goes to you grabbing your wrist and pulling it, well more like dragging you inside the house. He lets go, once you both are inside locking the door and tossing the keys in a bowl that sat on top of a small side table.

He stares at you with that same look in his eyes as earlier, filled with something indescribable.

"My problem?" He says, scowling. He walks to you, looking down at you, your height gap impossible to miss, as you was 5'4 and he was 6'2.

"Was that your boyfriend yesterday?" He questions, as you see a flash of emotion pass by his eyes.

"W-what?" You stutter, your eyes widening not expecting this from him. If he wasn't staring at you like he was going to kill you, you would be laughing right now. All this because he thought Spencer was my boyfriend, you think to yourself?

"You heard me." His words coming out in sharp and very low tone. You could feel his breath against your face. You both were so close to one another, it was almost suffocating.

"You mean Spencer? No. That ridiculous, hes like a brother to me." You say at the same volume as he was, letting out a light chuckle afterwards.

"Good." Was all he had said before he pinned your arms forcefully onto the wall.

Hotch stares at you looking at your lips hungrily. You look up at him innocently, your y/e/c eyes staring into his. He attaches his lips onto yours, the electricity more evident than ever. You let your mouth open a little letting his tongue slide in taking over. He moves one of his hands to hold your wrists above your head using the other one to hold onto your hip roughly.

He places kisses on you in quickly and fast movements. Hotch moves his lips to you neck giving you hickies as you moan and whine wanting more. You feel weak in your legs trying your best to remain standing, as he moves his lips to your ear, whispering a sentence that made heat rush quickly to your core.

"I'm going to use you how I want tonight, if at any point you can't take it i want you to say red. Understood?"

'Y-yes" you let out sounding like little squeak not being able to think straight.

He then grabs your leg letting you know to jump. You wrap your legs around him feeling his hands attach roughly to your hips holding you with a steel grip. Hotch's lips moves all over your neck attacking you and finding your sweet spot. This gives you immense pleasure as your fly up to grip his hair tangling and gripping it harshly.

"Be quiet, slut." Hotch whispers to you before he lets you go, letting you stand up walking backwards.

Your stomach flutters at the name as your leg hits a bed frame, having gently pushes you on the bed. He takes his tie offand then his shirt throwing it to the side leaving him in just his dress pants and shoes and you fully clothed.

"Don't think I didn't see how you were dressed earlier in class. You must have wanted me to have you bent over the desk and fuck you like the whore you are huh." He tells you, you just look down not being able to respond a blush coming up to your face vastly.

Hotch must have not liked that, because he grips your chin harshly, forcing you to look at him. "Answer me, kitten." He growls, his eyes filled with lust looking into into yours having your heart rate speed up.

"Y-yes.." you mutter not being able to respond clearly, your body feeling like fire.

Hotch grabs you by your arms pulling you up from the bed quickly. He grips your throat roughly with one hand and causing you to gasp not expecting it. "Yes who?" He repeats using his other hand to rip off your blouse and unclasp your bra.

"Y-yes s-sir." You squeak out as his grip lightens up, and you mentally curse yourself for your voice being so squeaky. 

"Good girl." Hotch says before leaving one hand on your throat letting up just slightly and taking his hand to grip one your breasts harshly playing with it's nipple causing you to release a string of moans and grunts.

Hotch's hands then move to your hips turning you around your back now against his. He pushes your top half onto the bed, causing your back to arch and your face planting into the pillow. This leaves your ass up in the air, before he grips the band of our mini skirt sliding it and underwear all the way down to your ankles in one swift movement.

Hotch then attaches his mouth to your back nibbling at your skin and giving a harsh slap to your ass making your hips involuntarily push forward. You can't stop the sounds coming from your mouth, feeling like putty under his hands.

One of Hotch's hands grabs your hip with a bruising grip as his other hand goes to your hair harshly pulling it towards him, a loud groan leaving your lips. A few strands dangle in front of your face, loving you the pain and pleasure he is providing you.

Hotch growls in your ear, "Since you keep making noise, I guess I'll have to shut you up."

With one quick movement he grabs you from the bed and puts you in front of him. He then sits on the edge his hand going to your hair pulling you down to where he was, forcing you to get on your knees.

He lets go and you go to work on taking off his pants and boxers, letting it fall to his ankles. He moves both hands to each side of your face grabbing and pulling it towards his face, roughly kissing you.

You then move your way down towards him and placing your mouth where he needed it most.

"Fuck y/n.." Hotch growls repeatedly making a ponytail out of your hair forcing you to take him deeply. You loved the fact you had this man wrapped around your finger even though he was the one dominating you.

Luckily you didn't have a gag reflex and usually you hated when males pushed your head, but there was something about Hotch that made you trust him completely and you didn't mind. You feel his dick start to twitch in your mouth and you speed up your pace but he grabs you roughly a trail of spit flowing down from your lips.

He grabs you from your hair which you can tell he likes grabbing it a lot, bringing you towards him and kisses you, his lips devouring your plump ones.

"I want to cum in you, kitten." He growls in your ear before picking you up swiftly by your waist and placing you down on the bed, your hair sprawled out on the bed and your eyes looking down at his face which was now in between your legs.

He bring his face closer to your core causing your breath to hitch feeling his finger slide up your wet pussy.

Your hand go to his head wanting to push his face closer to it but he slaps it away. "No touching, unless I say so." He tells you, have a slight smile plastered on his face from how he had you writhing under him.

"Please-" You say sounding more like a moan speaking barely above a whisper.

"Please what?" Hotch says letting a breath out after every word, making sure you're able to feel it on your core. He moves his hands to grip your thighs tightly, pulling you closer to him continuing to tease you.

"Please, I need your mouth badly." You say raising your voice but in a pleading tone.

"Alright, my little one" He says before placing his mouth where you need him the most. His tongue dives deep into your folds, his mouth giving you so much pleasure and a feeling so euphoric you couldn't describe.

You feel the familiar knot tighten in your stomach and all you can do is grab and twist at the bed sheets with your hands. Your lower body shakes and bucks up towards Hotch's mouth. He moves his hand using it to push your waist down and placing the other hand on your stomach to hold you down.

"Aaron.. I'm going to-" You say trying your best to look down at him, your body shaking under his touch.

He nods his mouth still attached and you take that as an okay and your stomach twists letting go, your orgasm dancing over your vision. You pant trying to regain your breathing, as Hotch starts to clean the mess you made using his mouth.

It has you continuously moaning and groaning. He stops and you feel the mattress dip and you look up, his arms being placed on each side of you on top of the mattress holding him above your body.

"We're not done yet" Hotch says, as his eyes staring into yours noticing his pupils dilate. He gets up grabbing and turning you around, having your face fall onto the pillow.

He's now behind you, slipping a hand around your neck bringing you back up and holding you against his chest. You can feel his boner against your bare ass.

"I'm going to ruin you and you have nothing to say, huh you little slut." Hotch tells you squeezing his hand around your throat a bit leaving you enough room to breathe. You try to respond but you can't.

He lines his dick up against you entrance whispering in your ear "Your not allowed to come, unless I say so."

He says it before burying himself all at once inside you. He slipped in so easily because of how wet you were. You start to fall not having the energy to keep yourself up but his other hand moves to your waist holding you as he thrusts into you, his pace quickening with each one.

You both let out multiple strings of groans and moans feeling one another to the deepest extent. Your head falls back onto his shoulders, having your hair all over your face not caring because of the pleasure you were experiencing.

You clench around Hotch's dick as you starting feeling him twitch inside you causing another knot forming in your belly.

"Fuck.." He says letting out a grunt. "Is my little kitten going to come around me?" Hotch says edging your orgasm more, panting as you both are coming close to finishing.

"Yes. Yes y-yes." You let out barley sounding audible.

Hotch's mouth comes to your ear whispering "I want you to come around my cock, kitten" and then moves down to the sweet spot on your neck sucking and licking around it, most definitelyleaving multiple hickeys. 

Just as your orgasm hits coming around his cock, you feel him release in you at the same time your body shaking and stars starting to dancing around your vision. Both your bodies fall onto the bed, your hair everywhere and his just messy which you found so attractive.

"Good girl." Hotch tells you, getting out of bed your heart beginning to drop hoping you weren't about to look stupid.

But against your negative thoughts he comes back into bed moving closer to you, letting his arm drape over your stomach. You begin to move your back towards him closing the gap between you both. Your eyes flutter before closing drifting from reality.


	10. Aftermath

Your eyes flutter open, taking in your surroundings as the crisp blue blanket clings onto your naked body. Your mind travels thinking back to last night remembering everything that had happened between you and Hotch. You look around his bedroom noticing his disappearance. If you were at your dorm instead, you would have been worried that he left but considering this was his house that was highly unlikely. 

You sit up looking to see your clothes laid around the room in a mess. You try to stand up using the nightstand next to the bed to help you, feeling the ache between your legs and your legs feeling like jelly. You put on your clothes from yesterday, your hair still a mess but deciding it would be best to wait until you were in your own room to shower.

You walk out the room, to hear two voices coming from the living room. One of them was Hotch and the other one was a woman.

"Aaron, just give me another chance. I messed up but think about what your doing?" The woman says her voice sounding very light and feminine.

"No. you cheated on me Hayley, In our home, In our bed." You hear Hotch's voice stern as ever, emphasizing the last part his anger prominent.

You hid behind a wall, making sure they weren't able to hear you but you were able to hear them.

"Aaron, think about Jack and how good it would be for-" Hayley says before stopping abruptly.

You hear her walking across the floor, her heels clicking against it.

"What is this? Is someone here? A woman?" She questions him, her voice getting louder with each word her words filling with anger as well.

You think to yourself for a moment, before your eyes widening realizing she had just found your purse and cell phone. You must have thrown it on one of the sofas he had. 'Well shit nice one y/n you say to yourself ' before diverting your attention back to the conversation.

"Hayley.." Was the only thing Hotch replied with before going silent for a moment. "It's not a big deal, you moved on and so did I." He tells her as you as a slight smile creeps up on your face feeling a sort of unexpected happiness.

"No I made a mistake because you were always busy and we were arguing all the time. She's probably some slut who fucks everyone huh." She says letting out a small proud laugh like she knew who you were.

"Hayley that's enough." He tells her sharply raising his voice in annoyance.

"Tell me Aaron, Is she something serious or some new plaything?"

What the hell? How was that any of her business, you think to yourself beyond annoyed at this point.

"Hayley, it's not any of your concern. She's no one important, just someone to comfort me because you left me. So stop acting so childish." He says in a nonchalant tone.

You don't know why, but what he had said hurt. For some reason, it made you feel filthy, something you had only felt back when you were in high school. You never had healthy habits, using sex to not think about your horrible father or mother who never cared about you.

Shortly after, you shake your head losing your train of thought at the sound of a door slamming shut followed by a sigh from Hotch.

You try to settle your wobbly legs from the night before proceeding to walk to the living room and grabbing your bag, checking your phone for a minute.

"Hey, did you hear any of that?" Hotch says, hoping you hadn't.

You turn around shaking your head slightly before tucking your phone inside the purse.

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion at your sudden silence, letting a short silence fall above the both of you. You feel his eyes look you up and down, noticing your messy hair and the clothes you were wearing from yesterday night. "Well, do you want me to drive you back?" He says reaching for his car keys. He throws a glance out the window probably hoping his ex wife was gone.

...

The drive back to the dorms felt longer then how it was. It was silent as you kept repeating his words to Hayley trying your best not to overthink it. He tried to ask you what was wrong and why you were so silent but you that was after you stepped out of the car, slamming the door quickly walking up to the dorms.

As soon as you walk into your room is when your hit with this wave of emotion. You take some pajamas stepping into the hot shower. You saw every part of your body that he had marked. You cry letting out waves of non stop tears, as you try to harshly scrub the marks off your skin making the area around them a pink tone instead.

All you can do is cry letting it take over you as the aroma of vanilla was prominent. At one point you just sat in the tub your legs under your chin letting time pass as you cried, the hot steamy water running over your face suffocating your breathes.

Eventually when you got out, all you could do is lay on your bed staring at your computer screen binge-watching The Walking Dead. Your mind became numb repeating Hotch's words.

"She's no one important.."

"Just someone to comfort me.."

Was that all you were ever going to be to people? An object. Some toy? Maybe it would be better if you didn't feel anymore, or even existed? I mean, you wouldn't have to be treated as an object anymore.

Your deep in thought when you hear a voice calling your name.

"Y/n? y/n? Are you okay?" Emily asks you repeatedly standing in your line of vision. you lift yourself slightly wiping your eyes, not knowing that small droplets were present.

"Sorry. I didn't hear you." You reply looking at your best friend, a worried and confused expression appearing on her face.

"Talk to me hun, What happened?" She asks, going over to sit next to you on your bed. She puts her arm around your body, holding you as you let your head fall comfortably onto her shoulder.

"I can't do it Em. I got attached and now I look so fucking stupid because I wasn't important. I don't even know why I feel so hurt. I thought this was maybe different. The because he was older he would probably want something with me.. But I was wrong. Im the one hurt." It was all you can say to her, your voice faltering and small.

"Y/n as much as you don't want to admit it, I know you know why you feel like this." The next thing she said was something you was terrified to hear. Something you was afraid of.

"You love him y/n.."

That's when you realized why you was so hurt. Why you trusted him so much. Why his actions had such an affect on you.

_You had fucking fell in love with Aaron Hotchner._.


	11. Harsh Reality

_**2 weeks later**_

It was now two weeks later since you realized the truth. Why you craved his touch, not sexual way but in way where you just wanted to just be held by him. You had fell in love with your professor. You knew it was wrong, he could get fired, you could get expelled. There were so many reasons of why it wouldn't work out. But like the saying goes, the heart wants what it wants.

So for the past two weeks verging onto threem, you did what you knew how to do best. Ignoring him until the problem went away, 'I mean, it was going to eventually go away right?' At least that what you had hoped for, the thought staying on your mind, hoping one day the problem would just vanish. The only thing you was sure of was that each time you dreaded going to his lectures.

Every time you saw him, you'd wanted to slap him wishing he'd knows how it felt to be in your place. He tried calling and texting you and once Emily had seen him outside your dorm just looking up at your window. She reassured you, saying he was probably debating if he should go to talk to you or not. A few days after, his stopped texts after you told him you needed space. It didn't help that he would just give you these longing glances every time he saw you. It broke your heart piece by piece, the fact that he was doing okay every time you saw him, seeing him so put together and okay, always in his regular suits, that he would wear.

For you, it was so different, you were so depressed, torn up and heartbroken a mixture of all three. You stayed in leggings and sweaters all the time, not caring about your appearance. It took all the energy you had to even take 30 minute showers on the daily. Your eye bags were constantly stained onto your face, looking like you had bawled your eyes out for days straight. In your defense, you did. You didn't even bother putting on makeup.

Emily had tried multiple times to get you to come out with the group. Hell, all of your friends tried each failing terribly. Your response was always the same, sinking into your bed even more hoping to become one with it. You tried distracting yourself with work from classes, maintaining a good grade for all of them. It seemed to be the only benefit from what was happening in your life.

You had just finished some assignment for your last class of the day when Emily and Penelope comes into the room giving you sad smiles.

Only one thing you hated worse than getting your heartbroken and it was the pity your friends gave you. You could see every it time they would look at you. You knew they loved you and just didn't want to see you like this but you still hated it.

Emily, Penelope and Spencer were the only people who knew about Hotch, not wanting your embarrassment to grow as well as the amount of people who knew. They came up with some cover story that you recently found out your father had passed away due to some cancer.

If only they knew he had pass away, in your senior year of high school and it was because he was drunk and had swerved his car into some lake killing himself and almost another person. You were mostly glad the other person was fine.

That was the second time you had saw so much pity from people, all giving their 'condolences' to you thinking it would magically wipe away the amount of sadness you were supposed to have. In reality, you couldn't have been more okay with his death. You weren't happy he was dead, but you weren't particularly ripped up about it either. He was always abusive towards you when he was drunk, being most time or whenever he was home.

The drinking had started when your mom had pass away two years earlier from breast cancer, once she died everything had gotten so hard. You dealt with the pain on your own, it caused you to go into a downward spiral lashing out over any little thing, as your dadwas no help. He started drinking and jumping job from job, not being able to show up early or sober enough to go. You decided to take care of yourself getting part time jobs, jumping from different ones, getting fired because of how angry you would have gotten when people interacted with you in a bad manner.

As you were in deep thought about everything that has happened in your life so far, you realize how fucked up your life truly was. Your mind starts coming back from reality as you hear your name being called.

"How does that sound buttercup?" Penelope says looking at you with a slight smile on her face.

"Sorry I spaced out. What were you saying?" You ask her tilting your head offering a smile in return.

" _Karaoke night._ Me, You, Em and the rest of the group." She says with a puppy face so you couldn't resist.

You look down at your lap contemplating your choices,You could either go out with them or sit in your bed, eating ice cream and crying while binge watching shows like you been doing for the past two weeks.

"It's only 20 minutes away, we could sing, and cry and some of us could get drunk, it could make you feel better" Emily tells you whilst enveloping you in a side hug with both her arms, hoping to convince you.

You think to yourself for a second contemplating what you should do, It wasn't like you had anything to do that important. You take in a deep breath before letting it out.

"Sure, why not." You tell the girls putting a tiny smile on your face in an attempt to make yourself feel better. Both of them yelled happily smothering you with hugs and causing you to laugh.

...

You look in the mirror running your hands through your now, straighten hair smoothing it out as it fell past your shoulders ending right a bit above your ass. Your wearing a full white outfit, a white dress that made your breasts show a little bit and it stopped right below your knee. You decided to go with a silver necklace and white flats the outfit making you look quite attractive. You had to admire yourself for a second, letting your confidence increase before heading out to meet your friends.

"Oh my god! I wish I had your goddess of a body." Penelope exclaims rushing over to you, as you hear her heels clicking against the pavement rushing to hug you tightly. You let out a giggle feeling a bit better then how you been feeling the past few weeks.

You step back observing Penelope and the others. Penelope was wearing pink and white; a white blouse, with a skirt that was a bright pink. She had white heels on with white glasses and a pink furry hand band which held her golden-blonde hair from falling over her face.

Emily was wearing a black dress that complimented her slim figure and showed the curve of her breasts. She paired it with a pair of flats and some dark colored lipstick that made them look nice. She had her arm around JJ's waist who was wearing a blue dress that had short puff sleeves and a black belt buckle surrounding her waist, it complimented her blonde hair and was wearing a pair of small black heels.

Morgan on the other hand wore a grey t-shirt with some dark blue jeans and casual shoes. He was always to look nice without any effort. Your eyes wander to Spencer noticing his hands in his pockets, as he was dressed in a maroon button up a black vest over it with a matching black tie that went underneath it. He had black jeans on with some casual shoes, his hair ruffling it to make it seem more casual.

"Let's go." You say giving all your friends a smile linking arms with Penelope as you guys pile into your car, throwing your car keys at Emily letting her drive since she knew where the place actually was. You figured Spencer was going to have to drive you guys back most likely all of you getting drunk out of your minds, some more then others.

As you guys walk in, you find it pretty packed filled with all sorts of people, noticing some form your own college. You guys grab a table in the front finding a person on stage singing with someone. It's a small bar but it really did give off such warm, cozy and down to earth type of feeling.

After a few drinks, you feel yourself and the effects of the alcohol enter your system, the familiar buzzing feeling coming back to you. You, Penelope and Emily go up multiple times singing a whole bunch of different songs sometimes and switch heading towards the bar all the other times. You have a good time laughing and singing not thinking about anything else. You didn't know if the feeling was genuine or if it was the alcohol numbing your pain, masking it with an entirely different emotion.

Spencer made sure to keep you hydrated with waters from time to time, making sure you didn't pull a stunt like last time or blackout on them in the middle of the bar.

"Hey-hic-can I get-hic-another water?" You ask the bartender slurring your words a bit. Thankfully you weren't a lightweight, so you knew how to handle hard liquors and sober up pretty quickly, depending on your alcohol assumption of course.

He passes a water towards you making sure to keep an eye on you just in case.

You sit at a nearby stool chugging it when you hear an all too familiar voice a little way next to you. The voice you dreaded hearing, each time you walked in his class.

"Dave, I'm going to go, you know this isn't my type of scene." You hear the man say letting out a sigh. You whip your head to the side where the voice came from not believing what you were hearing or who it was.

You lock eyes with Hotch, gulping hard to swallowing back all the negative feelings that you were quickly appearing.v

_"Y/n?"_ Hotch says, standing as still as a statue, not knowing to approach you or not.

He was in a black button up, the fabric clinged onto his skin making him look toned but not overly muscular. He was in black slacks and formal shoes. He always dressed professional even when it was something as casual as going to a bar. His hair was ruffled, some of the hair out of place like he had ran his hands through it a lot which he only did when he was stressed or nervous about something. You considered it to be his 'tell'. Usually he would put gel in it, providing a natural but professional slick back type of look he would wear daily. 

You turn around ignoring him as you push through the crowd of people, rushing outside and feeling the cold crisp air suddenly hit your face. As you felt the air hit you, you shiver realizing you probably should have brought a sweater. The air made your mind less fuzzy and a bit more clearer.

"Y/n?" You turn around to now face him.

Hotch's face looked a bit sad or guilty, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his lips turning into a slight frown. It wasn't noticeable because his face normally was stern and he always looked like he was mad at someone. It was like he was confused at the way you were acting towards him and in your defense you never told him you overheard him talking to Hayley that day, so you understood his confusion.

The drunken part of yourself wanted to hug him, hating that look on his face but you shake your head trying to remind yourself of the obvious. He didn't want anything with you, he didn't love you and that was that.

"Your going to get sick, come back inside..." He says trying to step towards you.

Yourimmediate reaction was to step back, not wanting to see him or have him touch anywhere near you, let alone feel his hands on yours.

"Stop, ju-just leave me alone." You quickly say, swallowing trying to not cry as you shuffle from one foot to the other in place, crossing your arms to hold them against your chest in an attempt to warm yourself.

He lets out a small sigh before talking. "Why are you acting like this all of a sudden. We were fine just a few weeks ago." He tells you staring at your face, his eyes searching for any kind of answer that would let him know what was going on.

"That was before I found out I'm just here to comfort you, how i'm no one important, Aaron." You repeat his harsh words that he had said about you a few weeks prior, scoffing and trying to put on a strong facade. But deep down you knew it would only be minutes before the tears would come out. 

He looks at you speechless, genuinely not knowing what to say. You licked your dry lips, before looking at the pavement under you for a moment. This annoyed you- He annoyed you, more than anything. With the alcohol still prominent in your system and in affect, you decided to act upon it, opening your mouth to say the first words that popped in your head.

"God, i'm just wasting my time. I feel so sorry for you Aaron. Is this what you do? You use people to make you feel better. I mean wow, in the short amount of time I've known you, you hurt me almost more than anyone."

You walk up to him taking one finger bringing it to stab his chest repeatedly with it. His jaw drops, eyes widening slightly in shock at what was happening.

You continue, your face contorting into a ball in anger. "You know I hope for your sake you get your emotions together or is this all fun and games for you, make her fall in love with me and break her heart." You say screaming at this point mocking him at the ending.

You turn around, your hair whipping around as you start to walk away, not really knowing where you were headed. Hotch stops you, grabbing your forearm harshly making you face him.

"Don't turn your back to me. We still need to discuss-" He says his deep brown eyes staring deeply into yours.

"I regret it all, I should have never came up to you that night." You tell him, cutting him off as you see a flash of pain appear in his eyes. Not questioning it, you pull your arm out of his bruising grip before making your way as steadily as you can to your car.

You get in your car, turning it on before driving off leaving a shocked, pain-filled Hotch and leaving your friends at the bar.

You started aimlessly driving, past the dorms and the college itself. It wasn't that far about 10-15 minutes before you started to feel waves of dizziness wash over you. You started feeling like you were hit with a sack of bricks, and started speeding up to try and get to a hotel that was ran by one your distant friends.

You felt even more sick and light-headed like you were about to pass out. Suddenly you felt your eyes flutter close as you tried your best to keep them open.

The next thing you remember was serving off the road, hearing the yelps and a car's beeping.


	12. mother’s embrace..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after last chapter & while y/n is unconscious !

Mo-Mother?" You say out loud, immediately recognizing the woman from your memories. Your jaw drops slightly as you look around to see the familiar yet unfamiliar setting.

Looking at the woman you clearly knew was your mom, as she was sitting alone outside under a big tree that casted a shadow blocking a the sun from the area she was sitting at. She was sitting comfortably on a red and white checkered picnic blanket as a basket sat in the middle, a few utensils in front of it. 

You stand idly by as you watch the moment unfold, she starts taking out the food, when suddenly a hyper energetic little girl who appeared to be eight or nine, comes rushing towards her and tall man chuckling trailing behind the girl.

Your face scrunched, recognizing the man as your father automatically thinking of how good he used to be, compared to how he was after your mom passed..

You remembered this exact moment. You guys always had daily picnic days which was every Saturday, as a way to spend time together as a whole family. Your mom used to be really busy with her job and dad always used to say that these days were because they wanted to keep you as little as you were. You thought they were being silly, you always being excited at the thought of you being older and grown.

"Mommy, When I grow up I wanna be just like you." The little version of you says throwing your hands around your mother's neck to hug her tightly. Nothing was better than your mother's embrace. She was wearing y/f/c dress and you had the same version on, looking like her twin except the kid version.

You tear up, trying your best to not breakdown as walk over to stand in front of them. You cross your arms holding them against your chest as you look over to your father who was the one speaking now.

"What about me princess? I'm wayy cooler than your Mom." he says pouting at the lack of attention you gave, before going over and tickling you until you fell in his arms. He engulfs you in a big suffocating hug while your mom laughs at you both.

Your heart aches at the sight, it had felt so long since you truly had a good memory with the both of them. You close your eyes for a moment calming yourself to keep from crying, quickly shaking your head, before opening them noticing they weren't in the same spot. You look to the opposite side of you seeing them walk away.

They were on different sides of you, holding onto your hand lifting you up swiftly as you swung back and forth. You hear the giggling fade away as you close your eyes again, thinking back to your childhood.

You then stare straight ahead thinking about your mom and how disappointed she would be in you if she saw you like this.

"Sweetie you're wrong, I could never be disappointed in you." You open your eyes, noticing you were now in your house standing in the middle of your living room. You thought it was in your mind, as if she knew what you were thinking. Hearing the voice come from behind you, you whip your head around to face the person, your hair getting blown a bit back, from the sudden movement.

"Mo-Mom?" You question, taking in how she looked. She had y/h/c hair and the same skin tone as you except a little lighter then how it used to be. She had the pink and white hospital gown on, your face drooping slightly, saddening as you looked at it being one of the last few outfits you had seen her in.

She walks over to you, giving you a small hug while rubbing your back. She used to do this to you whenever you had a hard day. You break down while she's holding you, apologizing for everything.

"I'm so sorry mom. I should have been a better daughter, I should have done something. I should have-" You say tears spilling out of your eyes as you list off everything you should have done or what you could have changed You didn't have any reason to feel guilty but somehow you did.

She pulls back before wiping your tears with the back of her hand. She cups your face with her other hand shushing you.

"Shh, sweetie it was cancer, there is nothing you could have done. It wasn't your fault I got cancer. And I'm so proud of you, I know you didn't have it easy after I died." She tells you giving a sad and guilt filled look.

She continues, "Y/n sweetie, I just want you to be happy." You look down, trying to avoid her gaze. She lifts your head so you're looking straight at her. "Bad luck seems to follow me mom. First you, then dad, and now.." You say your voice trailing off. For a second, you felt like you were forgetting something to say, shaking it off deciding it wasn't something to fuss about it.

"Sweetie, i'm afraid you have to go now." She says hugging you tightly, before letting go. You notice tears well up in her eyes as you shake your head.

"I- I don't want too." You say shaking your head furiously as your hands reaches out to grab her hand. She looks down at the ground letting a sigh out, before looking up and back at you.

"Listen, I love you. I want the best for you, and as hard it may seem to believe, your dad does too." You stare into her deep meaningful eyes as your same colored ones stared back at her. "We love you sweetie, but now isn't right." You were going to question what she meant by that but she cuts you off quickly.

"Just-" She takes a moment, and her eyes dart away from mine, like she was contemplating on finishing what she had to say or not. She lets out a sigh and before continuing, she places her free hand onto the side of your cheek causing you to feel warmth.

"Just stop looking for reasons to be unhappy and focus on the things you do have, and the reasons you should be happy. Accept the good things mija. Don't self sabotage." She says kissing your forehead as you shut your eyes, trying your best to be strong. You didn't want to leave her-- not again.

You felt her fade into the distance as you open your eyes and you try to run, in an attempt to chase the disappearing shadow figure. Your chest becomes heavy and you feel your body run cold, shivering and then numbness takes over, letting it overwhelm you.


	13. recovery..

**2 weeks later**

The white lights evade your vision. Your first reaction was to get up but you couldn't, It was like your body was numbed and you couldn't move. You hated the feeling, it was like you was tied down with no way to get free.

You try to open your eyes to see where you are, being able to only open them slightly. You weakly turn your head to the side trying to take in your surroundings. Your head felt like it was about to explode by hearing some kind of beeping noise that was coming near you.

"Ugh, someone shut it off" You groan weakly, your hand slowly makes its way to hold your head.

"Oh my god, She's awake! Doctor! She's awake." A girl yells your name to someone as you hear the sound of her heels clicking extremely loud against the floor increasing your headache.

Your eyes flutter open—fully now and you force yourself to sit up, looking around to take in the unfamiliar room.

The room itself was brown and beige which complemented one another. Next to you was a curtain for privacy and a machine you recognized as it was to check your vitals and do whatever tests they needed to do you. There was two chairs on each side of you, one side had a window behind it a couch.

Your head turns to the other side which was the exit, staring at the blonde girl rushing in looking happy with a female doctor and another girl with dark hair that trailed behind looking worried.

"Hi, My name is Dr. Lokie and I'm going to run some tests now that you're up, is that okay?" She informs you as she takes out a small light. "Now do you know what happened?" She says while flashing the light in your eyes causing you to wince a little from the sudden bright light. "Pupils are good and are responding normally." She speaks again, glancing at the two women who were standing next to you on the other side.

"Um. No.." You say furrowing your brows trying to remember the last thing that happened before you woke up.

"Hm, do you know your name?" She asks you as she instructs you what to do next.

Yeah, my name is y/f/n y/l/n, my birthday is y/b/d and I attend George Washington University." You inform her, a frown appearing upon your face hoping you didn't have amnesia.

"Do you remember us?" the dark haired asks, a frown appearing upon her face as well as the blonde as well. "No.. I'm sorry." You say as a moment of silence comes in the room. You look back at them before stating with a smile, "Emily I'm joking." You say laughing a bit both of them joining in.

"I love you and Penelope very much" you say smiling big for them. They hug you tightly almost killing you, as the doctor shoos them away to continue running tests on you.

A few hours later three more people came in the room and you genuinely didn't recognize them. It was another blonde that went by Jennifer Jareau, A tall awkward looking boy by the name of Spencer Reid and a tall 'chocolate goddess' Penelope described him as, his name being Derek Morgan.

You didn't remember them yet-- well not as much as they had remember you. It didn't damage the mood, as they reminded you of all the memories you guys shared. Throughout the conversations, Dr. Lokie came up to check on you informing you and the rest of them that you would be able to go two days later.

For some weird reason you felt off like you were forgetting something and you could have sworn that Penelope, Emily and Spencer knew what it was as you spotted all of them whispering to each other. You questioned them about the accident and they told you that the cause of it was getting into a car crash, apparently you had saw an animal and you swerved off the road.

You didn't really think too much about it as you were excited to go to your dorm, being able to lay in your own bed instead of the stiff uncomfortable hospital beds that the hospital had. The doctor had told you and the rest of your friends that you were experiencing short term amnesia and eventually would get your memory fully back.

She told you how lucky you were to not have had any long-lasting injuries except the scar that ran down from the top of your back and stopped where your hips were. She said you would have to take it easy for the next couple of weeks or so, not doing anything too strenuous.

...

It was Saturday and 10am, you got changed into a black fitted shirt that buttons going up in the middle for a design. You had a pair of white leggings and some comfortable shoes. Emily had pack your outfit deciding you should wear something comfortable since she and Penelope wanted to take you out for a 'besties' day Penelope had insisted. You didn't want to be coop up by in the house so you agreed.

You took your bag of belongings walking towards the front, where you were going to get discharged. As you walk down the hall, you see her talking to some man that was undeniably attractive. He walked away angrily which peaked your interest as you caught a glimpse of him. He looked rough, a stubble upon his face which you could tell from seeing him walk away, his hair looking neatly ruffled if that was possible. He leaves and you approach Emily her head turned to the side looking at the man who walked away.

"Em? Who was that?" You ask her, her face shooting to yours within a second. She lets out a sigh before answering.

"No one important" she mumbles, quickly covering it with a slight smile. "You ready to go?" She asks you and you nod, linking arms with her as she takes you both to her car.

As soon as you get back to your dorm you fall face first onto your bed groaning loudly, relieved you were finally back. You turn on your side to see Emily sit onto her bed and start texting.

"Are you texting JJ?" You tease as a smirk comes onto your lips.

"What--" You cut her off knowing what she was going to ask. "Emily, I've seen the way you look at her and how you interact with her." You stand up grabbing a towel before turning around to tell her the obvious. "The love you have for her in your eyes is obvious to see, and I know she loves you too." You say giving her a wink before going to the bathroom to wash up.

You look in the mirror, your face looking dead in a way, from the lack of makeup and not keeping up with your skincare routine. You hop in the shower letting the warm water wash your body, closing your eyes as you start to wash your hair and body.

'You cry letting out waves of non stop tears, as you try to harshly scrub the marks off your skin making the area around thema pink tone instead.'

Your eyes open sudden and in shock, as you felt a pain in your heart, your hands shooting to your chest clutching it like you were about to have a panic attack. 'What the actual fuck was that' you say to yourself not knowing what had happened.

You then remembered your doctor telling you that doing certain things would cause flashbacks, but this wasn't what you were expecting. You finish the rest of your shower quickly before putting a simple outfit on. Emily goes in the shower when you get out and you decide to put your hair up in a ponytail, putting on some light makeup. You get dressed in a simple fitted blue v neck shirt that had long sleeves with a light jacket on top. You go with some black leggings and casual shoes in case you guys would be walking a lot.

It was only 2pm and still fairly early. You decided to go on your photos looking at the day of the accident. You found pictures of you, Emily Penelope and the others, you guys were having such fun but it only made you more confused.

_Why did you drive by yourself?_

Your in deep-thought when Emily comes out the bathroom, drying her hair. "Penny for your thoughts?" She asks standing the doorway of your guys bathroom. "Emily, why did I go by myself?" You ask her the question bugging your mind. She walks inside the bathroom and out of your sight as she says "I don't really know, you just took the keys and left." You leave it alone for now, not wanting to press the issues too much. She gets dress fairly quick and you both leave, her driving so to where you both needed to meet Penelope.

You look out the window seeing small pellets of ran come onto the window as a familiar feeling washed over you. It felt like deja vu to you and you start to feel yourself panic slightly as try to calm yourself by inhaling and exhaling slowly. You let your eyes close--"it's my ex wife..." The man says looking at you for a reaction. You weren't able to identify him, it had looked like he was just a shadow.'

You open your eyes suddenly, looking over at Emily retreating your eyes just as quick to look straight ahead taking in the view fully in thought. As you bring your hand to your face holding it, you were curious as to what these memories was. You wondered if this flashback you just had was connected to the first one you had.

"We're here" Emily says your mind coming back to reality as you get out of the car following her. You guys were at the mall and shops that you went to with Spencer before. He had told you you guys had an amazing day before going on a rant about the books he picked out and how the book was. You smiled to yourself slightly remembering the place, as you looked around trying to spot Penelope.

After a few hours of shopping and getting food you guys were walking back to the car talking. Emily drops Penelope off before bringing you back to the dorms. As you guys came into the room, JJ had called her about hanging out which Emily had denied because of you. You physically pushed her out the door, saying you will be fine and for her to go satisfy her girlfriend.

You take a shower before changing into some pajamas and catching up on what you were learning in all your courses. Luckily you had Psychology with Emily and Biology with Spencer so you where fine there since they had caught you up with what you guys were learning. You had ended up emailing your other two professors saying you were fine and went to some of the information they gave you trying to refreshing your memory with what you guys were learning.

Your phone get dings alerting you that you have a notification, you were expecting a text from Emily or Penelope but got something totally unexpected instead.

_Aaron - Are you okay?_

You glanced at the message looking confused, did you know this guy? His contact was saved but there wasn't any photo or earlier.

_Y/n - Im sorry how do I know you again?_

You reply, racking your brain to try and remember the person who had texted to you.

_Aaron - Y/n stop acting like a child._

You face twists a wave of anger as to who this person was and why they were acting like an asshole towards you. You look at the time seeing that it was 11:00. You eyes were wearing you down and yawn breaks out. You don't bother responding to te text message, just plugging in your phone and heading to bed.


	14. determination

You wake up groggily quickly getting ready for your first day back at classes.

You put on some casual jeans and a tank top, not bothering to dress up since you were just going to classes. You and Emily were laughing about something as you guys were walking into psychology 101. You both take a seat in the front, as you started feeling proud that you knew exactly what was happening because of all the studying you had done the previous day.

"So is this professor cute or an ass?" You ask Emily, looking at her to shoot a smirk hoping to get the answer you wanted.

"Um.." She trails off almost as if she didn't know what to say. "He's really harsh, it would be best for you to stay away from him." She stammers and glances to look down at her books avoiding your gaze.

You were tired of the secretive thing that you kept spotting. You wanted a straightforward answer this time so you decide to ask her directly. "Emily. Is there something I need to know? You act weird everytime I mention this exact professor and when I asked about my accident you, Penelope and Spencer acted weird." You ask her, your face becoming serious. You hated being lied to more than anything and you weren't dumb. You knew they were hiding something.

This time she looks at you, a painful but guilty expression on her face. You arch your eyebrows slightly waiting for her to say something back. She sighs realizing the inevitable "Y/n, I promise I will tell you later but I need you to stay away from him just for today, okay?" You look at her in an confused matter as to why she wanted you to stay away from Mr. Hotchner.

Before you have a chance to answer, he walks in and now that you fully see him, you recognize him. He was the guy from the hospital.

Your eyes widen and you take in the sight of the handsome man who walked into the classroom before you shoot your eyes down, nervously to your books. He had raven colored hair, a stubble that was growing into a beard and a formal suit that made him look professional. He seemed to be toned, his biceps against the fabric but not overly muscular.

You look back up at him and don't realize your biting your lip as you start thinking about all the unholy things that man could do to you. You shake your head pushing away the thoughts that cluttered your mind. You catch him staring at you, the emotion in his eyes being indescribable.

You look around then back at at him, your face twisting into an confused expression before he looks away, looking as if he had gotten caught so he starts to look somewhere else.

This just confuses and you decide to say 'fuck it' to what Emily had told you not to do. You didn't want to risk being lied to again so who else better to go then the source itself. The class goes onas he shoots you glares not knowing why, and it truly pissed you off. You had felt dumb, everyone knowing what was happening besides you.

You go to your classes, not meeting up with the others but wanting to clear your head. You didn't realize where you even was going until you found yourself at a place that seemed somewhat familiar. It was a brown door that had a golden sign with black lettering on it.

Psychology 101

You gulped not knowing what to expect but the curious part of you knock, hearing a deep voice repond. "Come in." Hotch says, and you walk in quietly closing the door behind you. As soon as he sees you, he gets up to walks towards you and hugs you.

"Y/n.." He says your name, sending chills down your spine from the way he said it. It confused you not knowing why or what was going on. You then push yourself slightly away from him not knowing why he had hugged you like you were friends.

"Mr. Hotchner, I'd like to ask you about something." You say taking a step back, feeling the obvious tension in the room. You look him in the eyes, his face falling but in just a quick second he puts on a straight face looking everywhere but you. You notice as he tenses up and swallows roughly, making the veins in his head and his adams apple prominent.

"Mr. Hotchner? You never called me that before.." He says his tone becoming soft and low. He gives you a confused look not knowing what to say. You stay quiet not knowing what to say in response. He lets out a sigh not knowing what to do or say either. The room is quiet for what feels like eternity but what was actually like two or three minutes.

You break the silence answering the question you knew he had. "Ehem-- When I crashed my car, the impact gave me amnesia, the doctors say I'm not able to remember certain things. I'm sorry but I don't remember you."

You take a deep breathe before saying the next part. You look at him and he looked like he had just heard something that broke his heart. In all honesty, this whole conversation had gotten you more confused than you had ever been in your life.

"I need an answer to something, but I want the truth." You tell him this looking straight into his deep dark brown eyes. He looks back at your deep colored eyes, nodding to let you know that it was okay to proceed. "What were we?" You say your hand gesturing between you and Hotch.

He doesn't answer you, but instead walks over to his desk and sits down. He interlocks his hands with one another before letting out a sigh. "We were in a sexual relationship and it was just that.You had claimed you were in love with me, but that night you left and said you regret everything."

He stops a moment clearing his throat before he resumes speaking. "Now I have to get back to work, and I believe you have class?" He says with a deadpan look, staring straight at you as if you were a brick wall. 

Your jaw slightly dropped at what he said, you were in shock at the effect this man could have held on you. You cleared your throat not knowing how to respond. You head towards the door leaving his office to go to your other classes.

Now you had to find out why you had said what you said. You smirk to yourself knowing exactly who you would have told. You head towards your other classes trying to find out how you were going to extort the information out of your friend. If they wanted to lie to you about knowing what was going on then you would have to play dirty as well.

...

After classes are over, you text Emily saying that you needed some time to clear your head because of mad the fact that she lied. It wasn't totally a lie but it wasn't the total truth either.

You walk up the white door, a pink furry sign that said Penelope. You knocked twice holding some ice cream in your hands. Specifically both of your favorites, which was cookie dough. She opens the door looking at you and then her eyes flicker to the ice cream.

"You are my favorite person ever y/n" She says walking into her kitchen as you walk in to go to her side of the bed. She comes back with two spoons passing one to you and taking one for herself.

She turns the TV on putting on one of your guys favorite shows before she starts digging in the ice cream causing her to grunt because of how good it was. You let out a little laugh before putting your plan in action.

"So Penelope, how are you and Derek? Still working on that 'love child'?" You say remembering how you and your friends were joking about that a while ago. She laughs finishing the ice cream she had in her mouth before answering.

"Were doing fine, We are just friends I don't know why you guys think it's more" she says taking another spoonful of ice cream. "I see, well anyways I wanted to ask you something." You tell her as she nods her head not fully paying attention.

"Well, my memories still of a fish but can you tell me why we went on karaoke bar." You say hoping she would give you the answer you needed.

"Oh that's easy. Professor Asshole broke your heart because you overheard him few weeks earlier tell his ex-wife you were nothing important or special. You were sad for a few weeks because you love him. We wanted to take you out and you finally agreed, Then when Emily told all your professors you were in the hospital he was trying to visit you, but Me Emily and Spencer thought it was best to not let him see you so that you wouldn't--"

She cuts herself mid sentence clapping her hand over her mouth. She just had rambled and didn't realize that she wasn't supposed to say anything like that to you.

You sit back taking in the information that had just have been given to you. You connected the thoughts realizing he was the same person you were talking to in the car and most likely the same person that made you want to cut your skin off in the shower. Your mind snaps back to reality as Penelope was waving her hand in front of your face.

"Wow I can't believe you really tricked me and with cookie dough ice cream." she said lifting up the jar looking at it sadly then at you.

"So if you questioned me about it, how much do you remember" she continues turning the show off to give her full undivided attention.

"Well, not much. I know he hurt me and I loved him but I don't know what to make out of all this." You say letting out a huff of exhaustion.

"He told me that we were just together sexually, that I said I was in love with him. But apparently I said I regretted everything and now I don't know.." You tell Penelope as you take another scoop of the ice cream.

"Hmm. I don't know, I mean we hated seeing you so heartbroken over him, I think maybe you should just stay away." She says with a shrug. You wanted to but for some reason you knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

You get up, saying bye to Penelope and walking your way to your dorms. When you got back to your dorm, Emily was sitting on your bed waiting for you to come back home. You sigh being prepared for a conversation you didn't really want to have.

"Emily, I'm not mad, I questioned him and he told me what I needed to know. Why didn't you tell me?" you ask in an annoyed tone.

She lets out a sigh and goes to look at her hands avoiding her gaze. "I didn't want you to remember him because, of badly you were hurt.

He said you weren't important to him and that pissed me off. You constantly get hurt by these men and it's always one after another y/n. I-- "

"Emily it's okay. I'm not going to see him anymore. If i don't remember him it's not worth remembering." You say to her cutting her off mid-sentence. You knew she had good intentions, she just didn't go about it the right way.

You give her a hug as she places her head in the crook of your neck crying, going on about how she was sorry she let you out of her sight that night.

Your heart broke because you didn't blame her. You kept reassuring her that it was okay and you know it wasn't fully anyway, you were always the type to act out when you were emotional. It was something that you had to change and you knew that.

After crying for about two hours, you both ended up going to sleep right after. You went to sleep with the thoughts of Hotchner and everything that had happened today. But what you didn't know was that tomorrow, your mind would grant you back access to things you knew.


	15. Hotch’s Pov..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes places after y/n gets into the car in chapter 11 !!

You watch y/n walk away and contemplate on if you should go after her or not. You huff deciding not to letting her cool down. As you turn around to walk inside to find Dave, and let him know you were going to leave. This wasn't your scene and you weren't in the mood to drink.

Before you're even able to walk inside the door, you find him leaning against the door with a cigar in his mouth. "Let's go, We have to have a little chat." He tells you patting your shoulder and heading towards your car. You let out an annoyed huff, not knowing what in the world he was talking about.

You both got in the car and start driving in silence when Dave breaks the silence. "So what was that back there?" He says not looking directly at you. A chill runs down your spine as you answer. "It was nothing, She's one of my students." You say in a sharp tone hoping he wouldn't suspect anything.

"Aaron, I can gladly say that I've never had one of my students blow up at me because I've made her fall in love with me." He lets out a chuckle afterwards making you tense up because of how much he had heard. "Uhm- I don't know why she said that, it was strictly sexual but it looks like it just ended." You say deciding to tell him not bothering to hide what he had already figured out.

"Well? Do you love her?" He asks you, and you think to yourself not knowing how to answer the question either. "I've never seen you look at someone with that much pain in your eyes. Well besides the time you came over pissed and ready to kill the person that Hayley cheated on you with." He says, in an straighten tone. You remembered the day all to well, your eyes red with anger.

"I don't really know.. We just spent most the time angry at one another. Even if I did, she's my student. It wouldn't work out. If anyone found out I could get fired and she could get expelled." You say, not really knowing how or what to think.

"Well you can always quit. There's another college that's less than 20 minutes away so your really just using your job there as an excuse." He wasn't wrong but you didn't know what to say to what he had just said. The drive becomes silent, so silent you would be able to hear a pin drop.

After a few minutes of driving, you park in front of his house. Dave gets out the car but decided to give me some lasting advice. "Aaron, don't let a good thing go because you're so stubborn. Not everyone is like Hayley, so stop being afraid to admit your feelings and drop the cold-hearted act." Before you're even able to say anything he leaves to go to his door.

You decide to go back to your house and change into some clothes that you was able to sleep in. It was more of a restless night, your thoughts not letting yourself sleep. All you could think of was her smile, the way she was stubborn but kind. As soon as she walked in an room, she lit it up with her smile. You hated when she was angry but also loved it. You never allowed yourself to get close to someone but y/n was different. The time you first seen her and the last time. The tears pricking her sweet but mysterious eyes.

As soon as she said she regret everything, a slight burn in your chest happened. You didn't know what is was for someone, maybe a part of you never wanted it to end. Or maybe you were just overreacting.

...

The next day rolls around as you change into one of your many suits for another day of class. Another day of seeing y/n and thinking about her drove you mad. You wanted to hold her, to treat her like she deserved. You never spoke on it but you hated the fact that you had told Hayley that she wasn't important. You didn't want her to be someone important to you but you knew she was.

As you teach your class you don't see her or Ms. Prentiss in there. You think to yourself were they that drunk they have to miss my class. More days, specifically a week later goes on as you don't see y/n, you didn't want to ask her friend but you had to know what happened. Your first class ends and you approach your student, clearing your throat to get her attention.

"Ms. Prentiss, do you know where Ms. y/l/n is? She hasn't showed up to classes at all this week and its irresponsible." You say as she packs her stuff up most likely heading towards her next class.

"She's in the hospital." She says short and simple. "A week ago she had gotten into a car crash, she was driving drunk and it caused her to swerve off lane." Your heart had seemed like it dropped into your stomach, surprised and shocked filling your mind.

"What hospital she's in?" You immediately ask, wanting to drop everything and rush to be by her side. The dark haired girl turns around now facing you a disgust look on her face.

"No, This is your fault Hotchner. We would have never taken her out if you didn't use her, if you didn't break her heart and treat her like she was some slut. I don't know all the details, but you said she wasn't important so don't act like she is now." She turns away, walking out the classroom leaving you alone to think about what she said.

Your hand comes to your jaw, ruffing around the beard that had begin to grow on your face. Now you know why y/n was so mad. Fuck you didn't mean for her to hear that, you didn't even mean to say that it was just to get Hayley to back off. You knew Prentiss didn't actually blame you, but you had felt guilty. You were the last one who saw her before she went to her car, you could have stopped her but you didn't.

After teaching you walk into your bedroom exhausted. Ever since she told you y/n was in the hospital you couldn't help but to feel responsible. Your thoughts run wild, thinking of all the ways that you could have prevented y/n from getting in that car. You curse yourself not wanting to be like this. This girl had such a pull on you and you had no idea why.

...

A week later (the day y/n leaves the hospital)

You wake up and decide to find out which hospital y/n could have been. You narrowed it down to two in the area. As you reach the first one you walk up to the desk asking where y/n would be. As they are about to give you the room number, a girl comes up to you a girl who you recognized.

"Unbelievable. How did you even find what hospital she would be at?" Prentiss says, moving one of her hands to her temple.

You cross your arms not in the mood for her attitude. "It's called common sense, it wouldn't make sense that you would take her to a hospital too far away."

"Mr. Hotchner, with all due respect you need to leave, she doesn't want to see you. I suggest for her and since you couldn't give any type of fuck about her that you stay the hell away from her." She says loud enough for only you to hear.

"Is that a threat Ms. Prentiss? You say in response that she wouldn't let you see y/n. You had wanted to explain to her and ask her for her forgiveness. You hated the fact that she hates you.

"No, it's her wishes." She tells you glaring at you angrily. You look into her eyes for a moment before walking out the hospital angrily and getting into the car driving back to the dorms.

Monday arrives and you'd hoped you would see y/n. You rush around your house, throwing together a suit and tie, trying to get to the campus as soon as possible.

You get to the classroom as soon as possible and you see her. You stare at her taking in her appearance. You lock eyes with her for a split second before taking your eyes off of her, looking around the rest of the class. You smile sadly at yourself, noticing her smile and how she seemed happy. A rush of relief washed over you hoping that she was okay and that she would forgive you.

After classes you sit in your office, trying to distract yourself from thinking about y/n. You hated how she occupied your thoughts. You put your pen down running your hand over your face trying to figure out what you were going to do. A sudden knock on your door rips your mind away from your thoughts.

"Come in." You say weakly not in the mood for anybody to bother you. Once you notice who walked in, your eyes takes in her now better appearance and it causes a breath to hitch in your throat. You first reaction was to walk over to her and hug her which

"Y/n.." You say out loud not believe the face that she actually came. You wanted nothing more then to just hold her, You can smell the vanilla scent she always wore the familiar smell making you smile a bit. She slightly steps away causing her to slip out of your grip. 

"Mr. Hotchner, I'd like to ask you about something." You heard from her as you notice she awkwardly takes a step back. The obvious tension in the room feeling apparent, You look her in the eyes, a frown appearing on your face at what she called you. You manage to only leave the face on a second before returning to your straighten demeanor as you look away, not realizing the amount of hatred you feel she had for you.

"Mr. Hotchner? You never called me that before.." You mean to say to yourself but instead it comes out loud, in a soft and low tone. You then give a confused look because it seemed as if you've never met her and she's never met you. You notice she just stares at the floor most likely not knowing how to approach the situation and you let out a sigh not knowing what to do or say either. The room is quiet for what feels like eternity, but what was actually like two or three minutes.

You rack your mind trying on the possibility of why she would address you so formally, as if she read your mind. She breaks the awkward silence "Ehem-- when I crashed my car, the impact gave me amnesia, the doctors say I'm not able to remember certain things. I'm sorry but I don't remember you." As you hear that, you sit there in shocked not believing what you had heard. Maybe this was for the best, you hated the fact that she didn't remember you obviously but you'd rather see her happy then anything.

"I need an answer to something, but I want the truth." She says to you looking straight into your eyes. You look back into her deep colored eyes searching for anything that you could do to have her remember you. You nod to letting her know that it was okay to proceed.

"What were we?" She questions you, moving her hand between you both. It shocked you for a second realizing that even if you did want to tell her you wanted her she wouldn't want you. You were just her professor and she was just your student.

You doesn't answer her, but instead walk over to your desk and sit down. You think to yourself for a moment, not knowing how to say or what to say. You decide to not tell her the full truth realizing that there was no point to it as you let out a sigh then respond to her well aware question. 

"We were in a sexual relationship and it was just that.You had claimed you were in love with me, but that night you left and said you regret everything." You stop for a moment clearing your throat trying to finish what you knew you had to say. It didn't make it any better that you didn't want to say it. "Now I have to get back to work, and I believe you have class?" You say letting your face put on it's normal expression. 

With that she leaves walking out the door, and the only thing you wanted to do is stop her and kiss her or hold her. But you couldn't. To her you were nothing more then her college professor and that hit something indescribable within you.

You get up from your desk before going berserk. You slam the items from on top of your desk onto the floor a small crash allowing to be heard. You then punch the wall repeatedly making your knuckles red, small traces of blood forming.

You let out a huff before falling back into your chair and letting your head fall into your hands.


	16. memorable feelings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smut smut smut

Everything came flooding back in an instant. You were supposed to wake up like it was going to be just another day. But it wasn't..

You remembered how from the very beginning of how his eyes lightly gleamed looking into yours, due to the spotlights in the bar to the very end, when you saw the emotion he had in them before walking away to your car. 

It had felt like a dream.. or a nightmare? You weren't sure if what was happening now was either the worst or best thing ever. 

You body jolts up from your deep slumber, your eyes scanning the familiar room as you clung onto your blanket. You could hear your mother's voice from the dream that had sounded so clearly now. 

"Just stop looking for reasons to be unhappy. Accept the good things mija.. Don't self sabotage..." Her voice echoes from a distance within your head, repeating her words to yourself finally understanding the words she was trying to say. 

You weren't sure if she was referring to Hotch but you knew that you had to talk to him. You let yourself fall deep into your bed almost like you were melting into it. You stare at your ceiling not knowing what to do, with your new but old memories back. You wasn't even sure if he cared about you. 

The situation between the both of you was toxic to say the least, filled with lust and hunger, not cutesy little dates or how a relationship would be. You turn onto your side getting the thought of being in a 'relationship' with Aaron Hotchner out of your head. 

Next morning, you realized it was Tuesday and you didn't have any classes. You debated on what you should do, not wanting to stay inside your room any longer then you had too. Without thinking you got yourself ready. By the time you were finished it was still early, as you look at the time it being only 11am. 

You settled on a baby blue tank top with a white skirt that ended right above your knee, matching it with a black throw on cardigan that you can easily slip off if it was too hot. You noticed your hair had grew longer, when you notice it's length that now passed your stomach ending right above your bottom. 

You get in your car for the first time since the accident, the memories of that night start to floods it's way over you. You then swallow the lump that was in your throat, not wanting to at the wheel. So you inhale and exhale deeply a few times, before driving away the sight of your dorms disappearing.

As you park in the driveway, you notice another car in front of the house which didn't look anything like Hotch's car. As you get out, you start walking to the front door and as you are about to be in front of the house, a woman comes out with a little boy that you seen before. 

Once he sees you, he immediately recognizes you and waves, pushing the chocolate chip cookie he had in his hand up in the air trying to show you it. You smile at him, giving him a thumbs up before he gets into the car, the unfamiliar one you had seen. Then a woman comes out of the house walking angrily to the car before stopping, spotting you and shooting a death glare. 

"Oh well look at this, are you the same playtoy from last time or a different one?" She says glancing you from top to bottom, a disgusted look plastered on her face. You roll your eyes, remembering her words last time, and before you get a chance to defend yourself you hear Aaron speak instead.

"Jesus Hayley, stop being ignorant--" He says now coming out the house spotting you. His eyes noticeably wide, as he abruptly stops. Which you didn't find surprising, because he didn't expect to see you in front of his house and to be honest, neither did you. 

He clears his throat and walks over to you before continuing, slipping his large hand into your small one. "She's not a plaything, she's my girlfriend. I care about her a lot, so Hayley leave. Now." He continues saying the last part sternly. Your heart flutters at the title, knowing he probably said that to just get her to back off from you. 

She scowls before getting into her car, leaving an annoyed Hotch and you speechless. He lets out a huff not realizing his hand was still intertwined with yours. Once you clear your throat he quickly removes his hand starting to apologize while backing away. 

"Im sorry, if that made you uncomfortable, I just hated how she kept belittling you. I just wanted her to back off for a bit." He tells you, taking one of his hands to ruffle his hair a bit whilst offering you an awkward smile to break the slight tension that began to appear. 

"Can we talk?" You both speak at the same time, and you look down at the floor, letting out a small laugh at how awkward at the situation is. He looks down at the floor as well, stuffing his hands in his pockets nervously. 

"Yeah sure, come inside." He says in a low tone, turning around to walk back inside the house while you trail behind him. Once the both of you are fully inside, you close the door and walk in towards the living room, taking in the view of the interior as you bite the inside of your cheek. Your mind replays the moment of last time, fully remembering the time you were here and how badly it had ended. 

As you sit down, Hotch comes bringing two glasses of water for the both of you and sits down on the chair that was across from sofa he owned. You thank him before drinking the water, noticing his eyes lingering on you before looking away, noticing that you caught him staring. 

"So what did you need to talk to me about?" He asks, taking a sip of his own water. You eyes flicker to his hand grabbing the cup, the veins on his hand becoming prominent. Your eyes then go to his throat, his adams apple bulging as he swallows the water. You swallow as you shift uncomfortably in the seat, your thoughts beginning to race.

"Are you okay?" Hotch questions a worried and confused expression coming to his face, unaware of what you were currently feeling. You nod rapidly, waving him off so he wouldn't be so suspicious. 

"Um- well" You let out a sigh, unsure of his reaction. There was no turning back now and it would only get either better or worse from here on out. You shake your head then look him in the eye deciding it would be better to just straight out say it. 

"Aaron, I remember.." You voice comes out as a small whisper, loud enough so he can hear you. You lean forward onto your arms placing them on top of each of your legs, clasping your hands with one another. What you didn't realize was that you were slouching forward make your breasts almost spill out of your top which he now had a full view of. 

"W-what? How much?" He stammers, confused on the whole situation. It wasn't like he had amnesia so he didn't really knew much about memories leaving and returning. He repeated your motion, leaning forward to place his arms onto his legs interlocking his hands with one another tightly. 

'All of it." You reply leaning back to run your hands through your hair. You had figured that this was probably a bad idea. You stand up from the couch avoiding his gaze as you continue with your words. "I just felt like you had the right to know, I'm not expecting any love confession. So don't worry we can continue on like we don't--"

A firm pair of hands on your waist makes you lose your train of thought as Hotch's lips smash onto yours sending you both into a rush of fury. Your hands shoot straight up to the sides of his face, feeling his beard as it tickled against your skin. He pulls away for a second putting his forehead against yours "I've missed you.." He whispers as he pulls you into him, causing your front to feel his slight boner. 

You don't reply with words but actions. You move your lips back onto his as one of his hands travel down to your leg lifting it slightly. You shrug your cardigan off as you hitch your leg higher and then proceeded to wrap both your legs around his waist. He grunts into your mouth as both of your tongues battle for dominance. He wins, pushing your body to slam you against the wall as Hotch's mouth moves; starting to suck and leave love bites. He starts from your mouth trailing down to your jaw and then settling on your neck, which causes your body to feel like it was on fire. 

You moan feeling the wetness in your core increase as you push your hips onto his bulge wanting him to stop teasing you already. He holds you closer to him as he walks you both to the bedroom, grunting into your neck, his hard on against your clothed core. 

"Your so needy for me, princess." He growls in your ear before tossing you onto the bed. Your stomach flutters at the new nickname and you smirk up at him wanting to tease him as well.

"Only for you daddy." You say in an innocent tone. This releases something inside of Hotch, as you notice his eyes turn a darker shade of brown causing him to grab your waist, flipping you onto your stomach. 

He then tangles one of his hand in your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair before yanking it harshly towards him causing a loud moan to slip out from your lips. He moves his mouth close to your ear nibbling it before whispering to you. "If you keep it up, I will fuck you so senseless you won't be able to walk for days." 

You respond with a moan not being able to form words. This angers Hotch, moving his other hand to pull down your skirt and underwear with one slapping your ass hard afterwards, most likely leaving a slight mark. You let out a loud, grunting 'fuck' at the sensation. 

"Use your words, princess." Hotch says his voice turning raspy and low. "I-I'll be good daddy." You respond more like muttering it, feeling to the full extent of the fact you were putty in his hands. He yanks you by your hair pulling your body up, letting you stand up, your legs already feeling wobbly. 

"I want you to strip naked and lay on the bed, I'll be back." He says before disappearing. You take off your tank top and bra before laying back onto the bed your stomach facing up to the ceiling. After five minutes, you were getting seriously annoyed wanting to be fucked, not whatever he was doing. You curse Hotch out in your head before taking your hand, placing it on your clit where you needed to be pleased. 

You start rubbing yourself as you bite the back of your hand not being able to control the moans that wanted to so desperately be released. You imagine your hands being replaced with Hotch's, his big hands rubbing your clit in figure eights pleasing you beyond words. Your actions stop as you hear a voice come from the doorway.

"Tsk tsk tsk, I thought you were going to be a good girl." You look over at Hotch with a bowl in his hand as your eyes travel down stopping at his pants being able to see his raging boner. 'Shit' you cursed at yourself, wanting to cum, not be punished by him.

"I-im s-sorry, you were taking so long." You tell him, hoping you could sweet talk your way out of it. He places the bowl on the bedside table before going into the drawer to take something out and closing it. 

"No your not, stop acting like a brat right now." He says his eyes piercing into yours. He takes your hand tying it to the bed pole; He does the same for your other hand and legs. After he's done he leans over you kissing the side of your jaw. 

Y/n, we need a safe word and at any point you want me to stop just say it okay?" He says between the kisses he was placing on you. 

"What about jaguar?" You say the first word coming to your mind, causing him to pull away to let out a light chuckle. "Okay jaguar it is." He says as he latches his mouth onto one of your breasts, using one hand to play with the other one. You feel his tongue swirl around your nipple the sensation from the biting and sucking he was doing, causing you to moan out a string of curses and moans. He feel his free hand move down to your throbbing pussy, trailing one finger up and down painfully slow on your slit. 

"Aaron.. s-stop t-teasing me." You whisper not being able to handle his featherly touches. He slips in one finger as it covers with your arousal pumping it inside. You thrust your hips up wanting more pleasure then the teasing he was doing. He goes on with this action for a few more seconds not letting you finish. 

He pulls away completely stepping away from you before going over to the side table taking what you see now is an ice cube. "This is going to be cold okay?" He says, as you nod slowly not knowing what he was planning to do. He puts it in his mouth and places the small cold item between your breasts. You let out a squeak from the sudden coldness. He uses his mouth to travel the ice cube around each of your breasts, sucking up the dripping liquid as it was melting. Once it had fully melted he pops another one this time going lower body.

He uses the ice cube and places it on your thigh letting the liquid run onto the sheets. Your body shudders as he uses his tongue to move it closer to your now beyond wet pussy. He holds the ice cube inside his mouth rubbing it against your clit as he sucks on it, leaving you to try your best not to squirm. 

The melting liquid runs down your slit making your body shake slightly with pleasure. "Aaron I-I can't t-take it anymore." You try to tell him, as it comes out sounding like an inaudible moan instead. He moves his head to your face a wide smirk plastered on his lips. "Beg for it." He whispers to you as you tug on the ropes in frustration. Without a second thought you moan and grunt for your orgasm. 

"P-please Aaron, I need you so b-bad." You whimper, you knew that it wouldn't take long for you to finish. He uses one hand to slip in three of his fingers easily since you were so wet, making you gasp at the feeling. He starts a pace, speeding up within every thrust in and out of your pussy, the only sound in the room was him fucking you and each others moans. 

You weren't able to say or do anything as the blissful pleasure took over. You start moaning louder as you he whispers to you. "Come for me my little princess." As soon as he finishes saying that you unravel fast and loud, a string of curses leaving your lips. 

You pant as he fingers you through your first one, and he finally places his mouth on your clit. His pushes his tongue inside you causing you to gasp loudly. "Oh my fucking god Aaron" You let out, as the man who had his head on your throbbing pussy devoured you. His tongue swirled all over your clit and in your pussy causing another knot to form in your stomach quickly. Your hands tug at the ropes, the pain intensifying the pleasure. 

It wasn't long until your second orgasm comes rushing as stars begin to dance on your vision. The feeling Hotch gave you had felt so addicting and you wanted so much more of it. As you take a few moments to stable your vision, you look over to see Aaron fully undressed, his dick hitting his stomach filled with pre-cum seeping out. 

You didn't even noticed that your hands and legs were free as he comes back in between you and buries himself in you. You rake your nails down Aaron's back as you start to clenching around him. He thrusts into you sharper his dick hitting all the right places inside of you. You weakly wrap your legs around him as his hands wrap around your waist moving your hips to match his thrusting. 

"Fuck.. Princess.. Are you that wet for me?" He asks knowing the answer to that but wanting you to hear it from you. One of his hands wrap around your throat applying a slight pressure as you start letting out strangled moans. He begins to thrusts his hips into yours and holds onto your waist with his other hand trying his best to not collapse onto you. 

He increases his speed with every thrust a knot forming in your stomach as he begins to thrust sloppily now. His grunts become louder by more spaced by the second. He moves his hands from your throat back to your waist coming close to your ear. 

"I want you to cum around me princess." Hotch says, sounding more like pants in your ear. You cum around him gasping when you did, your body feeling achy and pulsing as you finish. He pulls out coming all over your stomach. He rolls next to you on the bed, as an idea sparks up in your head. You start to sulk down the bed, your knees hit the floor lightly. You grab his thick dick placing your mouth on the tip swirling your tongue around it lightly.

"Princess.." Hotch growls in a deep tone, his hands coming to your head to grip your hair. You take his full length slowly in your mouth as best you could, using your hands to pump the base of it. He pushes your head slowly down onto him allowing you to take him in full, his dick hitting the back of your throat. 

You keep up the pace, increasing it every once or so minute until he release into your mouth. He pulls you up by your arms, laying you next to him as he gets up and puts his boxers back on. He disappears for a few minutes, as you begin to get worried at the amount of time he was gone. Your eyes look around the room, trying to see if he was there when you spot him at the end of the bed; lotion and cloth in hand, as he staring or rather taking in the messy sight of how you were spread out on his bed. 

You giggle, pulling your naked self up to sit at the end of the bed. "Are you going to just stand there or what?" You say to him breaking him out of his deep thoughts. 

He moves in to cleans in between your legs and stomach before placing a peck onto your lips. He has you hold your wrists out, applying lotion that soothed the slight sensation from the ropes. You wince and Hotch notices furrowing his eyebrows. 

"Aaron, I'm fine trust me." You say noticing his worried expression. You let your naked body flop onto the bed as Hotch comes to put pillows under your head before placing a blanket on you. He lays down next to you, slinking his arm around your waist. You move yourself closer to him, feeling the familiar warmth and comfort he provided.


	17. college 101..

You wake up to the sweet smell of chinese food, as a small smile tugs at the end of your lips. You sit up in place, scanning the room for Hotch or your clothes. Not being able to find them, you peel the covers away from you swinging your legs around the bed to stand. A slight ache starts to pulsate in your lower body, the effects from what happened earlier. You groan at the feeling knowing, you would be limping for the rest of the day and probably the next.

You start slowly walking over to the deep colored dresser, going into a drawer to find one of Hotch's undershirts that he would wear with his suits. You slightly smile as you are putting it on, then button it up as the fabric falls long and loose on your body.

You look up into the mirror that sat above the dresser admiring the sight of the marks that were noticeable all over your neck, the rest being covered from the shirt. Your hair looked a mess, it was tangled from all the grabbing and gripping Hotch had done to it. You run your hands through it trying to make it look a lot less messy.

You slowly stride out of the room, walking over to the kitchen as you see Hotch place the food down onto the counter, his back turned to you. You slowly creep your way towards him, before wrapping your arms around his waist. A slight chuckle leaves his hips, turning around to face you, as you look up batting your innocent eyes at him. He takes his hand, using it to tilt your chin up before placing a small kiss onto your lips.

"You know you may look better than me in my own clothing." He tells you, pulling away and turning his attention back to the steaming food.

You let out a little laugh at the remark before going into the cupboard above you, causing you to stand on the end of your toes. You feel the shirt lift up as you let your arms reach out even higher. You take down two glasses setting them on the counter, before looking sideways at Hotch, his eyes being trained on you. 

"Is there something you'd like to say or are you going to just keep staring?" you say letting a giggle out afterwards. He clears his throat at your smart response before looking at the food, avoiding your gaze now. "Don't be a brat now." He tells you, going over to you, giving your ass a light smack.

You grunt from the pain, still feeling sore from earlier. Your rub your ass trying to soothe the sensation, before hearing a small laugh from Hotch behind you. "Stop, it's not funny." You let out in an annoyed voice as you whip around to face Hotch, crossing your arms a pout coming onto your face.

He shows you two plates with a smile before rolling your eyes at him, taking the both of them as you walk excitedly like a kid would to the living room. He laughs at your silly demeanor before grabbing two waters from the fridge following you to the next room.

You sit down on the comfortable sofa, digging into the delicious food Hotch had ordered. He sits down next to you getting comfortable as well. "What do you want to watch?" He asks passing the remote to you, a grin appearing on your face knowing exactly what you were going to put on.

...

After Hotch took you home later on in the day you take a shower working on some homework for your classes, noticing Emily's absent presence. You text her asking if she was alright, and she responds saying she would be with JJ. You smile at the text, realizing JJ was a good person for her and you were glad that your best friend had found someone who made her happy.

Beginning to let your sleepiness take over, you go to bed so you were able to sleep away the slight soreness you were feeling, hoping you were okay enough to be comfortable in class the next day.

Waking up the next day, your phone alarm blaring loudly in your ear slapping it causing to drop on the floor. You not being a morning person, was groaning at the annoyance as you had to psychically drag yourself away from the bed, hopping in the shower for another long day ahead of college.

You get dressed in a maroon tank top that complimented your skin tone. You pair it with a white mini skirt the contrast in colors looking rather nice. Deciding to let your hair lose so the bruises wouldn't show, as you grab everything you needed for today quickly making a cup of coffee to drink, in hopes of jolting yourself awake. You walk out of your dorm room to heading to your classes for the day, being glad that you would be able to see Hotch.

Walking in the all familiar classroom your eyes dart into Hotch's earning a glance, being able to see how his lustful eyes looked you up and down. You see him stick his tongue out, licking his bottom lip causing you to smirk over the control you knew you had over him. You spot Emily, walking over to your seat next to her as she smiles at you.

"What was the look he gave you, y/n?" She asks you a slightly shocked expression being plastered onto her face.

"I got my memories back and I went over to his.. We're on good terms" You reply to her, placing your head in your palm giving her a small smile.

"Oh my god, I'm so glad she tells you" A genuinely happy reaction her face now had before continuing. "So you told him you loved him?" She said in a lower tone before making sure people hadn't heard her.

"Well... I um-" A booming voice from the front of the room breaks the conversation, you and

Em was currently in.

As a good amount of time had pass within the class, for some reason you had wanted to tease Hotch. You loved the look he gave you when you first came in the classroom, wanting to push him even farther. He asks a question and your hand shoots up as he calls on you. You take your opportunity leaning back all the way, the end of your skirt hitching up, giving Hotch a perfect view of your black lace panties. You see his jaw automatically clench up his eyes looking down at yours from afar, before shooting back up to your eyes. 

You fidget a bit more noticing his eyes slightly trained, raking over your figure before asking another question, allowing some other student answer. You knew he was going to have something to say about what you were doing but you loved watching him struggle in front of people because of your actions.

You yawn as Hotch dismisses the class as you linger waiting for the rest of people to leave. One by one they pile but you look up to see Emily standing in front of you holding her bag with an guilty expression.

"Emily I'll talk to you later, I'm not mad at what you did" You inform her, taking your hand to squeeze hers in reassurance. Her expressions changes, from guilty to a bit of surprised before giving you a sad smile. She lets out a sigh, questioning your words. "Your not?"

"No. I know you wanted the best for me, then and now.I do think you should have told me but you did it out of love not spite." You smile at her, a sense of relief fills her knowing that her best friend wasn't mad at her. "I'll let you know what happened later, okay?" You tell her passing along a wink. "As cheeky as ever" She says, trying to suppress her laugh. She walks out, closing the door behind her to leave you and the professor alone.

You automatically get turned around by a pair of hands with a steel grip on your waist, now facing a furious Aaron Hotchner. You tilt your head to the side pouting your face to play innocent.

"Are you okay?" You ask him innocently, feeling his left hand move down to your ass to grip it harshly. You buck your hips forward at the sudden motion causing you to whimper and feel his hard on. He moves his head into your neck, his lips coming down to your ear.

"Can you feel how much I need you right now, y/n." He whispers, the sound of your name coming from his lips always made your stomach flutter. You feel a blush come upon your face and you try to find the words to answer him.

You feel his lips place themselves on the skin under your ear, earning an involuntary moan from you. Your arms inch themselves up to his head, needing to grip something.

"Hmm someone's needy for me, huh?" He grunts into your skin, his hard on rubbing against your thigh. He pulls away, pulling you towards the desk sitting in the chair. He pulls you over his knee lifting your skirt up.

"Wha-" You begin to question him as a smack lands onto your ass, causing you to push your hips forwards. A groan leaves your mouth the stinging of the slap present. One of Hotch's hand slip around your throat applying a slight pressure. He pulls you up by your throat roughly growling into your ear. "Since you wanna act like a brat, then you'll get treated one." He releases his grip, letting go of your throat.

"I'm going to spank you four times and I want you to count say thank you after." He says in a low tone. You whimper feeling the wetness in your core. You squeeze your thighs trying to fuel any amount of pleasure for your release. "Answer me." He growls in an raspy voice landing another harsh smack to your ass.

"Yes s-sir, t-thank you.." You half mutter half moan. 'smack'. "Good girl" He tells you, thanking hi, as you squirm forward the pain and pleasure mixing as he lands another smack, this time it was the opposite cheek. You thank him again like he told you to do.

"Your so wet for me princess." He tells you, his finger tracing your lightly clothed core. "You like it when I treat you like this huh?" You could feel his clothed bulge underneath you grow, being able to feel it against your stomach. "Yess." your response, coming out in a light voice.

He takes you off his stomach, gripping you by your throat to roughly kiss you. He looks down at you for a minute taking in the appearance of your flushed face, your lips swollen from the messy kiss the redness on your face and your doe-eyed eyes.

Your look back at him, his hungry lustful eyes peering down at you, his lips slightly agape as you can hear the small inhale and exhale, coming from his mouth. Your hands go to work to his belt, fumbling with it until you pull down his pants and boxers. You take his cock within your small hands, pumping it trailing your tongue up and down his shaft.

His hands tangle themselves with in your hair, pulling it slightly back which forces you to look up at him. "Kitten, I'm not in the mood for games" he struggles to fully say, his expression strained from the slight tease you were being.

"Okay daddy." You reply. knowing how much it turned him on. He lets out a grunt as your mouth fully takes in his throbbing dick, your hands at his base pumping him into your mouth. He slightly pushes your head into his dick—now fully reaching the back of your throat. You speed up the pace, humming along while you bob your head up and down.

His thrusts into your mouth falter slightly after a few minutes, letting you know he was close to releasing. You speed up your pace earning a string of curses from him. He finishes, moaning your name along with multiple fucks. You swallow, wiping your mouth as you stand up the stinging pulsating your ass. You let out a low mumble of shit as you look back at Hotch who looked fine, except his hair from your hands tugging on it.

"You deserved it for the tease you were being" He says standing up slipping his hands under your ass, rubbing it to decrease the stinging. You smirk at him, knowing damn well you liked being punished by him. You smooth out your hair, praying no one noticed you just gotten your mouth fucked out by the psychology professor.

"I did want to ask you something" He tells you, letting his head fall comfortably into your neck. "Which is?" You say laying your head onto his shoulder. 

"Go out with me tomorrow?" He asks you, a blush automatically comes up on your face as you smile to yourself not believing what he had ask you. He notices your moment of silence, "I mean its okay if you don't-- I'd love too" You interject him, the butterfly feeling in your stomach happening once again. He moves backwards, looking into your eyes a small smile you notice played on his mouth.

"It's a date." You confirm, your smile brightening up as you stare back at him. 


	18. pure bliss..

**The next day**

You twirl around looking in the mirror at your outfit. It was a velvet v-neck blue dress that hugged at your curves, making your body look better then ever. The dress went low showing not too much of your chest but did a good job of making them look appealing. The dress stopped right above your knee showing your legs and the black small heel pumps that you had choose to wear as it also matches your black clutch. Your let your now curly hair bounce around your shoulder, some strands falling down your back. 

A notification from your phone interrupts your thoughts as you read the message. 

_Aaron: I'm here._

_Y/n: okay, i'll be down in a minute :)_

You type in a quick response, smiling at yourself with the state of both you and Hotch's situation was at. In a way you were insanely nervous about the ultimatum that would happen later but you shake your head before locking your door and walking out to meet him.

You stroll into the parking lot, to see him standing leaning back on his car typing away on his cell. You stop admiring the sight of the man before you. His raven hair stood in an neat way, gelled down and professional. He had a maroon button up, the fabric clinging to his arms and chest. He had black slacks on that fit him, making the all-too serious man way more attractive.

He looks up at you a shocked expression flashing over his face before quickly fixing his face putting on a small smile. The night lights casted a beautiful shine on his face illuminating all his features. You walk up to him as he opens the car door for you, allowing you to get inside. He then goes around getting in from the driver seat to start the car. 

As he drives you look out the window, taking in the beautiful street lights that lit up the streets and small shops that you passed. The drive was a good hour and you were becoming restless at this point. 

"Aaron, where are we going, you just said to dress elegantly." You remind him shooting a look of impatience. He lets out a chuckle, putting one hand on your knee causing a warmth flow through you at the sudden touch. 

"We're almost there, just relax." He tells you, moving his hand up and down on your leg. You murmur along the lines of 'asshole' as a blush creeps on your face, knowing how much you were able to melt under his touch. 

Hotch looks at you one, furrowing his eyebrows knowing you were trying to be smart without him hearing. "What did you say, princess?" He says in a humming tone, his hand coming dangerously close to your panties as it was already high on you thigh. 

"Ehm no-nothing." Was all you can say, trying not to let the fire in your body take over. A few breathes leave through your mouth, your heart rate speeding up slightly. 

Hotch takes his hand off, parking the car in a parking lot which had a sign that said 'Bistrot La Semilla'

A french restaurant? You remember telling him that you had always wanted to go Paris, a conversation you had with Emily as well. You both laughed talking about one day you both would run away to Paris changing your names and becoming new people. You get out the car linking arms with Hotch as you guys walk inside the fancy restaurant. It was white themed, the tables having a neatly white cloth placed on top the chairs and seats being an elegant deep black that matched the interior. 

As Hotch talks to the hostess for an table, your eyes scan the room taking in the view of the people and furniture that made the place fancy. Your thoughts are interrupted by Hotch wrapping an arm around your waist walking with you to the table. 

"How do you like it?" He asks you scanning the menu for something he would be able to order. "Aaron I love it, You remembered." You say out loud, the last part more to yourself then him. You look away at the menu so he wouldn't catch how big you were smiling. 

"Hi, my name is Lana, and I will be your waitress today." She says to you both, smiling at Hotch while he looks at you asking if you decided on what you wanted. She looked young, at least your age if not a bit older and her hair was in a sleek ponytail a strand or two out to frame her face.

The both of you return to chatting with one another and for the first time it was a calm moment. Laughs being exchanged with one another, you and Hotch just talking about different topics until the food comes. 

When the waitress comes, she basically drools over Hotch and completely ignores you, standing too close-- way more than needed. At one point she put her hand on his arm, asking if he needed anything from her. He wasn't making it any better, giving her a light smile to tell her that was all and he'd wave her over if you or him needed anything. You decide to just keep on eating and drinking your wine and eating the dish you had received. 

"Y/n, if you stab the plate any harder it might break" Hotch tells you causing you to roll your eyes. "Oh im sorry, maybe Lana is quieter eater" You say in a low tone, sneering at him. 

"What on earth are you talking about?" He says letting out a sigh at you. Your eyes shoot up to meet his, narrowing your eyes before responding. "Your seriously dumb if you can't tell she's been flirting with you the whole time." He furrows his brows in confusion as your sudden take away but your arguing stops automatically at the waitress coming over again. 

She takes your plates giving Hotch smile and wink, "I'll bring your check right over" She innocently says before leaving you dumbfounded. Was it not obvious you were there or did she really think that she was that smooth. You cross your arms leaning back in the booth looking away from Hotch, knowing his eyes burning holes into your skull. 

Once she comes to give you guys your check, you tried to pay but he ignored you placing Hotch's card and a tip in the card slot. He noticed a small pink paper, that had said 'Call me sometime ;)' along with a phone number. You turn your head back to him noticing the pink paper in his hand, snatching and reading it quickly. Your face turns into an scowl as you red it, shooting your eyes over to Hotch. 

Ultimately you just let out a sigh, grabbing your bag and walking to the car. You stand near the car, waiting for Hotch to unlock the car hoping to get warm soon. The wind pricks at your skin causing a shiver to run down your spine. You notice him walking to you now, running his hand through his hair. As soon as you hear the car unlocking you get in from the passenger side, hearing Hotch get in as well from the opposite side. 

"Y/n I can't help that she was making a move on me." He tells you trying to plead his case. You sigh shaking your head. "I know Aaron, I'm not mad at you. Its just-" You stop yourself not wanting to talk about it anymore. 

"Continue, y/n." Hotch says to you firmly, driving the way back to your dorms. "It's not a big deal." Your words, coming short and stern. The rest of the ride is quiet beside the classical music the radio had on. 

Hotch parked on the side which was a block away from the dorm, making sure nobody would see you two. You sit still like a statue in the passenger's seat, fiddling with your hands thinking. Your deep in thought that you didn't notice Hotch call your name. 

"Y/n, is anyone there?" He asks, putting his hand on your shoulder. "Yeah.." Was all you said, your eyes staying on your hands, like they're the most interesting thing ever. 

"Can you look at me? I'm trying to talk to you." He tells you, causing your head to lift and turn to meet the deep brown eyes you always loved seeing. "What is going on with you?" He continues, now having your 100% attention. Your silent debating on what you should do or say. 

"I-I love you.." You mutter, knowing you weren't able to hide it anymore. You remember telling him you loved him the night you got into your accident. An indescribable look comes onto his face, indicating that he definitely heard you. 

"I told you that night as well, and you never said anything either. I know what we have is complicated but it's the only sure thing I know that I want. You make me feel something. Like good about myself and for some reason I can't stop myself for feeling the way I feel about you Aaron. I'm falling too deep for you and I know that I can't keep continuing this on, if this whole thing is still just sex with you." 

You surprise yourself not even knowing what you were going to say until now. Your eyes lock with Hotch's as you notice the lack of silence. You step out of the car, your chest feeling like a stack of bricks was placed onto it. As you begin to walk away a grip on your wrist stops you. 

"Y/n wait." Hotch says his voice sounding choked. He breathes in sharply his eyes looking into your deep colored ones. "We wouldn't work out-" He begins to say before getting cut off by you. "We haven't tried." He lets your wrist go, causing it to drop next to your side. He looks away the tension filling in, it was so overwhelming, you wouldn't be able to cut through it with a knife. 

He's silent for a moment before speaking "This was only about sex and if you can't handle it im sorry." In a low monotone voice, his face looking anywhere but yours. 

The words hit you like a truck, one that seemed inevitable and even then it still hurt. Your chest began to feel like it was tightening and when you opened your mouth to say something no words came out. 

All you can do was turn around to walk away from the man you loved. You knew it was never going to work. It didn't hurt any less that you thought the conversation was going to go way different. But you had to say something, it couldn't just be sex for you, not anymore. 

As soon as you got in your room, you slid down the door and cried. The crying went hours and hours on, the feeling of your heart breaking was the only thing you felt. It got to the point where you couldn't even breathe. That night took so much energy from you, you curled into a ball and fell asleep right there. Your mind wondering why this had to happen to you out of all people. All you wanted to do was be hold or loved or even cared for.


	19. going out.

It was now the next day and you along with the rest of your friends, were going out to yet another club. 

Scrunching your nose you sniffle, trying to covering how you really felt with a smile as the thoughts of yesterday's events seeps into your mind. 

Staring back at your reflection in the mirror, you let out a huff of hot air knowing you had to move on with your life. You couldn't do the back and forth with Hotch anymore and you were done with him. 

Deciding to go with a smooth maroon dress that had spaghetti straps which showed your shoulders and bareless back, matching it with black flats that you had found very comfortable. You put your hair in a casual ponytail, some strands falling in front of your face, it wasn't like you were trying to impress anyone tonight.

A sudden honk from outside rings out, the familiar sound as you slightly smile to yourself knowing it was Spencer's car. You quickly grab your bag, slipping in your phone and key before leaving to find all your friends already in the car. Chuckling at their eagerness, you make haste getting into the car for a night of hopeful fun and distraction.

During the long car ride the club wasn't anywhere near the college just in case, as you really didn't want to risk the chance of running into Hotch. As the six of you slip into the club, the four girls immediately heading to the bar taking a shot each to loosen you all up. You guys then head over to the dance floor, dancing with one another like you usually did.

The music beats are loud, the club was crowded which was causing all of your sweaty bodies to collide with one another laughing and enjoying each other's presence. 

After dancing for sometime you all laugh about something, making your way back to Spencer and Derek, curious to what they were doing. As you near the table you notice Spencer had on a worried expression, his eyes quickly scanning the area while Derek was calm not noticing Spencer's lack of interest as he was just sipping his drink. 

"Spencer are you okay?" You say to him confused at why he had looked like he saw a ghost. 

"Uhm- y/n, can you and Emily come with me?" He says, his eyes looking at yours in an state of urgency. 

You and Emily turn your looking at one another both confused as you nod your head at him. In an matter of seconds he takes both of your guys hands, dragging you through the crowd to an empty booth. Your head distracts itself, looking around the club as the three of you place yourselves in the booth. You were kind of surprised that it was empty due to the amount of people in the place. 

'Y/n, focus' You say reminding yourself, before turning your head, your eyes looking to meet Spencer's.

"Y/n, Mr. Hotchner is here.." He says, just staring at you waiting for a reaction. Your head drops as you heartbeat starts to quicken, like at any moment it was going to explode. Was he following you now? He literally seemed to always be where you were and you hated it. 

You didn't even realize you were so quiet until Emily grabs one of your hands, squeezing it letting you know it was okay. A sense of relief fills you as you squeeze her hand back. You sigh, not wanting to deal with Hotch but of course he had to come and blow your night up. 

Bringing your head back up to meet the both of your friends eyes staring at you, like at any moment you were about to erupt because of your quiet state. 

"Guys I'm fine. I don't think he'll talk to me, and I haven't seen him so its-" You finally speak, your eyes looking past Spencer's head to catch a glimpse of the one person you didn't want to see. 

Hotch was sitting next to his friend Dave, the one you saw the first night when you met him. His hair was fluffy and messed up, like he was angry. He was just staring into the abyss not paying attention to what his friend was saying at all. His head turns meeting yours for a second before you drag your eyes away, looking back at your friends. 

They notice your head's quick movements, Spencer turns his around glancing at what you had saw. As Emily just had to lean closer to you, looking straight ahead to see them both. 

A sigh then leaves you, shaking your head at the situation you were in. "Well we only been here for a little bit and I'm not ready to leave so let's go." You tell the both of your friends as you stand up, placing a smile on your face trying to ignore Hotch's stare on you.

The three of you walk back to Penelope, JJ and Derek, smiling at them saying it was just about something unnecessary. You all laughed it off thanking god they didn't press too much, moving you guys to the bar to get some more drinks. 

A few moments later you slip away from your friends, finding a seat at the opposite end of the bar. You sit on the stool, calling the bartender for a martini. She places one in front of you, drinking it slowly to savor the taste it had to offer. 

Your mind trails off, going back to think about Hotch and how he was here. Replaying all the moments you had with him, the sex, the arguments, pretty much everything. Your mind started to feel like it was detached from reality not knowing or even caring how long you been away from the others, hoping they weren't looking for you. 

As you let your head falls into your hands, shutting your eyes close wanting nothing more then to erase the image of his face. The face of the man you loved. The one you thought you were going to hopefully get together with. That was such a stupid thing to dream about, you say to yourself, letting out a chuckle. 

"Mind sharing the joke?" A man's deep voice interrupts your thoughts, causing you to jump slightly. Your head turns to look at him recognizing who it was. He holds out his hand for you to shake offering a smile.

"Where are my manners, I'm Aaron's friend. David Rossi. You can call me Dave though." The man says, he looked older than Hotch also attractive, but not someone you would go for though. You shake his hand, waving your hand around the area to show him that there was a free seat next to you. 

"So what are you doing here talking to me?" You bluntly ask him, the alcohol enhancing your 'not giving a fuck' side that you had. You hear him chuckle, telling the bartender to get him two waters, as he turns his attention back to you now, letting out a sigh. 

"Believe it or not y/n, Aaron loves you." He says in an casual tone like it was obvious to everyone. "What?" Was your only response as the bartender places two glasses of water in front of Dave, he quickly thanks her, pushing one of them in front of you.

You drink it, assuming he wanted you to not be too drunk for what he was going to tell you. He continues with what he was saying. 

"I've never seen Aaron look or talk about another woman like you. He loves you to the point where he pushed you away because he thinks you deserve someone better then him. He's a good person y/n, just difficult with understanding his own emotions." He tells you, letting out a sigh of annoyance due to the predicament Hotch had manage to land himself in. 

"You know, I never thought he would get over Hayley, but that night when he had finally decided to go out with me, He found you. You are the first person he ever even looked at since her. I talked to him already but it can only do so much." He looks down sucking in a breath of air as he stands up. "Don't give up on him just yet." He says to you turning around to leave. 

"Wait." Your mouth seemed to now move on it's own, your mind not thinking about what you were going to do. 

"Can you take me to him?" You say as Dave smiles back at you, nodding. 

You follow him out the club getting into the passenger seats, as he drives you towards Aaron's house. You pull out your phone, texting in the group chat that you had left. Hopefully they weren't too drunk to read it, secretly knowing that Spencer would be the only one paying attention. 

You look out the window trying to calm the bundle of nerves that were in your stomach throughout the entire time. The thoughts in your mind scrambled as you started playing with your hands bouncing your leg up and down, something you always did when you were nervous.

The car stops as Dave leans over opening the door for you. "Go get him kiddo" He encouraged you, making you smile at the nickname he had randomly given you. 

As you walk up the stone path seeing the lights turned on inside, you swallowed the nervousness that seemed to run through your entire body. Before your even able to lift your hand up to knock on the door, it swings open seeing a distraught and messy Aaron Hotchner. 

"Y/n.." Your name comes out of his mouth in a whispered tone, inaudible but heard.


	20. the truth..

You're at a loss of words as you take in the sight of the person in front of you. For someone who was always so kept together and organized Hotch had looked like a mess. His hair was messy like he had just woken up, he had bags under his eyes, his button up shirt was untucked and the top few buttons were open. The suit jacket he had on was gone and his tie was hanging over his shoulder. 

As you look at him in disbelief and confusion, you see his deep dark brown eyes had a glassy look in them. They also seemed to hang low as, bags were also underneath them. Was he about to cry or had he just finished? He finally notices the look you were giving him, his hand comes up to his eyes rubbing them slightly. He then turns away from you leaving the door open as it had seemed like, a way of telling you to come inside. You slowly trail behind him walking inside to follow Hotch, closing the door after you get inside.

He walks to the living room and you notice the mess on his floor. The small blue vase that sat on a small table by the TV was broken, the shards layed on the floor. Hotch ignored it, just grabbing a glass bottle of whiskey. 

As he falls onto the couch, you look at him confused at what had happened. He didn't seem like himself, but the complete opposite. Messy, distraught, nonchalant. It wasn't until he brings the bottle up to his mouth swallowing some of the brown liquid that was inside it like it was nothing that you had seen his hand.

"Oh my god, Aaron your hand." You quickly rush over next to him, sitting on the couch as well causing him to let out a chuckle. 

"He-Hey it's not a big deal y/n." He reassures you, slurring his words making you notice the drunken state he was in. You reach for his slightly bloody hand, the blood had started dripping from his hand to the floor. The cut wasn't deep like it needed stitches but he definitely needed it to be cleaned. As you reach for his hand, he pulls it away from you, as if was a warning for you to not touch him.

He starts to bring the glass to his lips again, but you snatch it away from him and stand up to place it on the table behind you. 

"Give it to me y/n." Hotch says to you in a slur stern voice. "No Aaron, your cut off." You say right back at him with the same stern tone. "God why do you even care?" He says, raising his voice at you. "We're not together, I'm not your boyfriend, I'm your professor for god's sake." 

Your eyes widen and your head drops to the floor as a wave of pain in your chest had wash over you, as you couldn't help to feel hurt what he had said. He looks straight at you now seeing you stand in front of him, instantly regretting what he said.

"Y/n I didn't mean-" He starts to sputter, getting up from where he was sitting to walk over to you. As he starts to grab your arm you take a step back, dodging it knowing exactly what would happen if you let him touch you or even get too close to him.

"No, Aaron it's fine. You're right, you aren't my boyfriend. You're just my professor and I'm just your student." You force yourself to now look straight at him, swallowing the lump that formed in your throat. You think to yourself, you honestly didn't even know why you were here. Maybe his friend was wrong? He didn't love you and you had to harshly accept that. You start thinking realizing how stupid you looked. 

You shake the thoughts away going to the kitchen, filling a bowl with water before finding a cloth and an first aid kit. You open it, grabbing some gauze to take with you before going back to him. He reluctantly holds out his arm on top of the counter for you to clean the cut. Thankfully, it wasn't anything major and you wrap it lightly in some of the gauze. Once you were done, an uncomfortable silence had filled the air. A few minutes pass as you sigh to yourself, realizing that tonight was a waste of time. 

As you turn around to leave through the front door, you hear him say something that made you stop in your tracks. "No. please, Y/n. Stay." He says to you in a trembling low tone. Turning around, you look straight at him, taking in the sight of his eyes, a glassy look like he was about to full on cry. He walks to you, wrapping his arms around you, causing you to stay still within place.

Leaning his head in the crook of your shoulder he continues. "I love you so much y/n but you deserve so much better than me. I truly don't mean to hurt you but I do.. God, It was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I hate the fact knowing you cried over me, and the feeling that at one moment you're going to leave me and it hurt even more then last time.." You hear him sniffle into your shoulder, his voicing shaking. "I've tried to stay away, I thought it would be better for you, b-but you keep coming back to me-- Don't you see I'm broken. I don't want to drag you down to where I'm at." 

He whispers all of this to you in an low tone and for a minute you felt like you were dreaming. That maybe he hadn't just said what you thought he said. That something bad happened to you and you were dreaming. You manage to pinch yourself without him noticing, and when you felt the pressure of the pinch, now realizing that what was happening now was real. 

You pull your head away slowly, seeing a now soften expression on his face. There was tears streaming down his face as his eyes was peering into yours, desperate for you to say anything. You didn't even realize you were crying as well until he moves his large hands, cupping your cheeks to use his thumbs to brush your tears away. 

"Please forgive me and give me another chance." His forehead against yours, his voice laced with need and due to his face being so close to yours, you could smell the whiskey mixed with the strong cologne he had on. 

You then move your arms higher, wrapping them around his neck as he leans in, connecting his lips with yours. Your mouths move in sync like they were made for each other, as you feel his arms sneak around you waist pulling you against him. 

The kiss that seemed to last forever felt different. It wasn't lust but something else. It had felt like a kiss that two people who was in love would share. After a few minute he pulls away, looking at you with concern. 

"What does that mean?" He asks, slightly panting from the heavy makeout session he had shared with you moments ago. You slightly smile at the fact he cared. You lean towards his ear, your arms remained around his neck as his remained around your waist. 

"It means, I love you too." You whisper, moving away to close the distance, your lips landing back onto his. He walks backwards, moving the both of you to the bedroom. 

Once you were inside he sits down on the end of the bed, in front of you. He looks back you, his face flushed staring as you push the straps of your dress off your shoulders. 

"Are you sure?" He says looking up at you. You drop the dress at your feet, standing your matching lace bra and panties. 

"Yes, more sure than I've ever been." Your reply back while nodding your head up and down.

He unbuttons his shirt, throwing it to the side his eyes remaining on your body, raking over your figure. He grabs your waist, moving you on top of him as he kisses your lips passionately. Your arms snake around his neck again, your hands moving to his hair to tug at it. 

This earns a grunt from him, as he lifts the both of you up placing your back on the bed. He was now on top in between your legs. His smooth mouth leaves your peppering kisses down. He kisses your jawline, before leaving hickeys on your neck then chest. He makes haste, taking off your bra, as you arch upwards allowing him more access. 

You couldn't help but to feel like this time was different. You guys weren't having kinky sex or just fucking, it felt chessy to think but it felt like you guys were making love with one another. 

Your mind snaps back to reality as he takes off your panties, placing kisses on your thigh while doing so. "Aaron.." You moan his name at the feeling, loving the fact that he wanted to take his sweet time. 

This time he started kissing up your body, murmuring the same three words your heart longed for. "I love you." He kept repeating into your skin, as you heard a belt being fumbled with in the background. As you sit up you were now face to face to Aaron's clothed bulge, removing his hands from the belt to replace it with yours. You make haste, taking it off and pulling down his trousers. 

He groans, as you weren't even doing but taking his pants off. Nonetheless, the sounds of his grunts or even his hands on your body had made you wet. He leans down to kiss you again, taking off his boxers, his length hitting his stomach. 

He then leans forward, to fall onto the bed his arms beside your head so he wouldn't fall completely on top of you. You manage to flip him over, his eyes widen, surprised and confused as to what you were doing. 

You were now on top, feeling his hard-on against your bare body. He grunts at the action not wanting to rush you. You knew he was getting impatient and frankly so were you, so you lift yourself up before sinking back down this time onto his length. You gasp, the feeling of him inside of you had felt amazing. 

"Princess.." He moans, his hand coming around to grip your waist. You place both your hands on his chest, before moving up and down beginning to create a pace. Throwing your head back because of the immense pleasure you were feeling, you begin to speed up.

One of Aaron's hands remains your waist helping you bounce on him as he thrusts into you matching your rhythm, as his other hand goes to your clit, rubbing it to make your orgasm come faster. 

"Oh god. Aaron.. Fuckk..." You moan, letting the words come from your mouth effortlessly. You feel your orgasm approach, causing you to clench around him. "Shit. Do that again y/n." He groans again, his thrusts becoming sloppily now. 

He sits up, moving both his arms to wrap around your back as he continues to fill you, this time from a different position. It doesn't take long until you both finish at the same time, as he finishes inside of you and you finish around him. 

You fall next to him on the bed, causing him to slip out of you. You whimper at the loss of contact before he wraps his arms around once again, this time around your stomach. He pulls you close to his body, bringing the covers over the both of you.

He lays his head in the crook of your shoulder, holding you tight to him. You smile to yourself, staying still to just enjoy the moment. He must have thought you were asleep already, because he kissed your head, whispering a quiet

"I love you."


	21. where it all ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack is 5 by the way

**A week later**

It was Saturday around 10 am, when you hear a deep yawn along with the sound of a sizzling pan. As a pair of arms wrap around your waist a smile creeps up on your face as you flip another one of the medium size pancake that you had made.

"Mmm, who knew you were such a good cook." Aaron tells you, feeling his hair tickling you on the side of your neck. Your response was a chuckle, because you knew for a fact you weren't a good cook but you always learned to make your favorite foods.

"Hey I know my way around a kitchen" You defend yourself before continuing.

"So hurry up and set the table, because I'm almost done over here." He lets out a little laugh, the same one that makes your heart happy and can automatically bring a smile to your face.

He moves away from you, setting up the table for three people and moving towards you to make coffee. There's a silence in the room besides the utensils clinking with one another but not one that's awkward, one that is comfortable and loved.

Aaron leaves you to get dressed for the day and as you are making the both of you a cup of coffee, a small familiar voice surprises you.

"Y/n? Is that pancakes??" The small boy who had a smile larger than the sun asks you, running over to you.

"Why yes it is, Jack" You respond to him, picking him up and bounce him up and down in the air earning a giggle from him.

"Do they have choc chips on them?" He asks, not fully knowing how to pronounce chocolate. You quietly laugh, shaking your head as a look of sadness appears on his face.

You walk over to the table, placing him down on the chair that was facing towards where you and Aaron would be sitting. "Well, we can easily fix that because" You quickly walk to the refrigerator, taking out a bag of chocolate chips before walking over back to Jack.

“They're right here, ready to be eaten."

"Hmm, don't you think he's going to have enough sweets already?" Aaron says, suddenly appearing in the doorway of the dining room area. He comes over, kissing you on the cheek and walks over to Jack, leaning down to kiss him on top of his head.

"Oh I didn't even think about that." You say out loud, remembering the plans you had set for the rest of the day with the both of them.

"Well if you dad says no, then I guess that means no Jack." You inform him, causing him to pout.

You lean down to where he sat whispering in his ear "Don't tell dad, but when we go out later I will get whatever snack you choose but it'll be a secret between us, okay?"

You tell him moving away to hold out your pinky. He nods excitedly, locking his pinky with yours before looking back at his father. 

As the three of you guys eat, drink and talk and afterwards get ready to go out you think about all the craziness that had happened in the past couple of months. The time in reality was short but with the arguments, the moments you shared and just stepping foot into his class, you would have never expected to fall so deeply in love with him.

As two hours pass by, the three of you finally get to the destination and he stares at it in awe. "Y/n do you think we'll be able to go on all the rollercoasters?"

He says, eager to move inside already. You chuckle of the amount of energy he had before responding. "Well I don't think we'll have enough time for all of them but we'll definitely ride a lot."

The three of you head on inside, hand in hand ready for a day of fun memories that you all were going to share today.

**Later on that night**

"Thank you for today, I think Jack loved it" Aaron says to you, putting on a pair of sweatpants.

You put on one of his shirts that he had, loving the fact that it smelled exactly like him. You put your loose hair in a bun smiling back at him.

"I hope so, I want him to like me." You respond, you knew Jack was a big part of Aaron's life and you wanted to impress the both of them and prove Hayley wrong.

You weren't just any playtoy but someone who happened to fall for a man in an unfortunate circumstance.

"That isn't something you should worry about, princess" He reassures you, the both of you climbing into bed.

"Oh and I quit my position at the college. I transferred over to where Dave works since it's more convenient." He says to you, now wrapping you in his arms and pulling you closely to him.

You turn your head around, a bit shocked at what he had said. "You did?" You ask him, supporting yourself on your elbows to look straight at him.

He nods his head, before coming to kiss you on your lips. He uses one hand to bring your waist closer to him, causing to gasp which also allowed him to slip his tongue inside your mouth. He pulls away slightly, staring at you with a smile.

You tilt your head looking at him with a confused face.

"Do I have something on my face?" You ask, smirking back at him.

"I love you." Aaron whispers to you his arms coming back to hold you.

"I love you too."

You respond, as if you were falling too deep within his embrace.. It was Almost like if you didn't cherish him enough that he would slip away from you.


End file.
